To those following:
This blog is now being moved, with an updated look and mission statement, to
http://catholicityoftaste.blogspot.com/
Hope to see you there
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Upon a Dark and Winding Road
Upon a dark and winding road I walked,
And on my shoulders bore a load of stone.
With grinding bones and trembling legs I walk
Bent-backed I leaned upon my spindly staff
And every stone I saw upon the road
I lifted up and added to my load.
Upon the dark and winder road I saw
A man who bore a greater load than I
A mountain seemed to sit upon his back
And bent he walked, his hands upon a staff.
His breathing came in gasps and coughs
He seemed half-blinded by his salty-sweat
Upon the dark and winding road he turned
And saw me stagger down under my load
My strength gave out, I sank unto the ground
Crushed and bruised under my load of stones
And he set down his load and came to me
Lifted mine up and added it to his
Upon the dark and winding road I said
“I beg you sir, do not, for that is mine
I gathered them myself and so should bear
the load alone, and yours already seems
Too large for one to bear alone. I see
That you are weary, leave to me my load.”
Upon the dark and winding road he set
My load and his upon his aching back
He took his staff in hand and smiled to me
He set me on my feet and said “My friend,
You are not strong enough to bear that load
So let me take it from you, for I am.”
And on my shoulders bore a load of stone.
With grinding bones and trembling legs I walk
Bent-backed I leaned upon my spindly staff
And every stone I saw upon the road
I lifted up and added to my load.
Upon the dark and winder road I saw
A man who bore a greater load than I
A mountain seemed to sit upon his back
And bent he walked, his hands upon a staff.
His breathing came in gasps and coughs
He seemed half-blinded by his salty-sweat
Upon the dark and winding road he turned
And saw me stagger down under my load
My strength gave out, I sank unto the ground
Crushed and bruised under my load of stones
And he set down his load and came to me
Lifted mine up and added it to his
Upon the dark and winding road I said
“I beg you sir, do not, for that is mine
I gathered them myself and so should bear
the load alone, and yours already seems
Too large for one to bear alone. I see
That you are weary, leave to me my load.”
Upon the dark and winding road he set
My load and his upon his aching back
He took his staff in hand and smiled to me
He set me on my feet and said “My friend,
You are not strong enough to bear that load
So let me take it from you, for I am.”
Death
Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock, tick tock
These are the sounds of my footsteps
This is the sound of my knocking
Soon I will stand on your doorstep
Soon you will come at my calling
Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding dong
That is the cry of my trumpet
Heralding my nearing presence
Have you begun to prepare yet?
Are you awake for my summons?
These are the sounds of my footsteps
This is the sound of my knocking
Soon I will stand on your doorstep
Soon you will come at my calling
Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding dong
That is the cry of my trumpet
Heralding my nearing presence
Have you begun to prepare yet?
Are you awake for my summons?
Call to arms
Sudden changes rock my being
Sudden answers, sudden laughter
Up I spring, I cannot rest now!
Worlds are opening to conquer!
Foes now press from every side and
Hark! The trumpets and the clatter!
Swords are clashing, spears are shining
Horses neighing, shields are shattered
Arrows flying, cannon roaring
Hosts invisible and armored
Marching past while I lay dozing
I, who proud professed my honor
I, so eager for the battle
Shed my blood for causes lesser
Shall I lay and play the coward?
Shall I stay a mere deserter?
Sword! A sword! Give me my weapon!
Beat my heart to match this drummer!
Give me a place in this great army!
Marching makes the legs grow stronger!
Obedience makes our freedom sweeter!
Now shall I seek for true glory!
Now shall I live in true valor!
Shirt of hair now be my breast-plate;
Scripture be my keen-edge saber!
Queen of Heaven be my damsel
Christ my King and Pope commander
Inmost thoughts my field of battle
Foes be devils and all error
Fall I may, but fall in glory
Laughter on my lips and prayer
Let my heart with steel be sharing
Men, now rally ‘round my banner
March to battle and to glory
Hark! Your King calls you for soldiers
Join my company and serve Him
All the Earth our feet shall wander
Ever seeking our next battle
To no coast will our blood be stranger
‘Til at last the war is ended
So my soul declares in fervor
Racing forward past all reason
Oaths I take within my fever
Bind me still when I awaken
Sudden answers, sudden laughter
Up I spring, I cannot rest now!
Worlds are opening to conquer!
Foes now press from every side and
Hark! The trumpets and the clatter!
Swords are clashing, spears are shining
Horses neighing, shields are shattered
Arrows flying, cannon roaring
Hosts invisible and armored
Marching past while I lay dozing
I, who proud professed my honor
I, so eager for the battle
Shed my blood for causes lesser
Shall I lay and play the coward?
Shall I stay a mere deserter?
Sword! A sword! Give me my weapon!
Beat my heart to match this drummer!
Give me a place in this great army!
Marching makes the legs grow stronger!
Obedience makes our freedom sweeter!
Now shall I seek for true glory!
Now shall I live in true valor!
Shirt of hair now be my breast-plate;
Scripture be my keen-edge saber!
Queen of Heaven be my damsel
Christ my King and Pope commander
Inmost thoughts my field of battle
Foes be devils and all error
Fall I may, but fall in glory
Laughter on my lips and prayer
Let my heart with steel be sharing
Men, now rally ‘round my banner
March to battle and to glory
Hark! Your King calls you for soldiers
Join my company and serve Him
All the Earth our feet shall wander
Ever seeking our next battle
To no coast will our blood be stranger
‘Til at last the war is ended
So my soul declares in fervor
Racing forward past all reason
Oaths I take within my fever
Bind me still when I awaken
Saturday, June 11, 2011
MST3K – 304: Gamera vs. Barugon
(Yes, another long delay: hopefully things will go a little smoother now that I'm out of school)
The second Gamera film is, by far, the best of the old series. The main reason for this is that it is the only film in the series to focus entirely upon adults: there are no children in this story. A solid plot about a treasure-hunt gone bad anchors the human story while Barugon is as unique and imaginative a monster as Gamera was and makes for a creditable threat. The human characters are actually kind of interesting and I found myself getting caught up in the brisk, easy-to-follow storyline. In short, this is an actually good Kaiju film; the only one of the old Gamera series that I would place on par with the Godzilla movies of the time.
One rather surprising aspect about the film is that Gamera himself is barely in it: he shows up for an opening sequence attacking a dam, then basically vanishes except for a brief encounter with Barugon until the climax. Quite honestly, if they came up with an alternative means to defeat Barugon, Gamera could have been excised entirely and the film wouldn’t have lost much (I don’t know what it says about the original Gamera films that the best of the lot could easily have been made without Gamera).
So the movie here is above-average for MST3k. The riffing, meanwhile, is also solid, though not brilliant (the best line is Crow’s “Solipsism is its own reward”). And the host segments are also solid, with the best being the brilliant “5000 Piece Fighting Men-and-Monsters Set.” It’s incredibly densely written and goes by so fast that you can barely keep up with the jokes and probably will have to watch it a few times to catch them all.
A pretty decent movie, great riffing, and solid host-segments make for a good episode.
Opening: Tom and Crow have a user-interface war. An instructive look into the early days of personal computers. It’s also pretty funny, especially Tom’s overreaction to Crow’s snark about Mac System 7.
Invention Exchange: (Crow’s arm falls off early on) Joel has an animatronic pop-can to be a spokes-person for recycling. It’s really cute. We also get to see Servo’s extend neck again! The Mads have the cumber-bubble-bum (which Joel invented in Episode 107, Robot Monster). Joel notes it’s familiar as they go into the theater.
Credits, over the ocean like in the first movie, except this one’s in color.
And we get some flash-backs to the first movie.
Servo: “A little background first!”
Narrator: “Again there was failure.”
Joel: “And deep personal shame.”
We learn that the Z-Plan Rocket (which looks completely different this time, by the way) got hit by a meteorite, so Gamera’s back.
Gamera returns and attacks a dam, destroying it and killing untold numbers of innocent people. Our hero, ladies and gentlemen!
Joel: (as Gamera) “I just can’t get close to anyone anymore!”
Servo: “Tokyo, I think it’s about time to start thinking about Solar Power.”
(on the view of the destruction)
Servo: “Woah, looks like Wimberley Stadium after a soccer match.”
And Gamera leaves to feast on a volcano after bursting the dam.
We cut to a couple of guys in a plane talking.
Pilot: “This is my last day up here.”
Joel: “I will serve my master down there.”
Other pilot: “But you’ve just earned your wings after so much dedicated work.”
Servo: “Clarence.”
Cut to some women playing a stringed instrument.
Servo : “I never knew a cheese-grater could sound this good.”
Then a close up on some guys gathering bombs…
Servo: “This oughta shut em’ up.”
…and guns…
Joel: “Oh, come on, now, they’re not that bad!”
Servo: “Uh, guys, maybe you shouldn’t be smoking around those things.”
And the pilot shows up to join them.
Joel: “Hi, I’m dangerous to myself and others.”
Pilot gives the lead guy (his brother) all his money then comments that he wants his own aircraft company.
Brother: “That’ll take money…”
Crow: “And you don’t have any. He just took it.”
Brother says that he found a huge opal during the war and now he wants to go back for it.
Pilot’s name is Kaseke.
So, they’re not exactly crooks, but not exactly honest either. I like the ambiguity here.
Kaseke: “You mean we’re to quit the ship without leave and then reboard it again?”
Crow: “That’s dishonest!”
So they take the grenades and guns to defend themselves against all the creatures in the jungle.
On the ship, Kaseke and crazy-guy work as janitors while a third guy is an officer.
And we arrive on the island, with a lot of dancing girls.
Servo: (interpreting the native dance) “The Male of the tribe is saying ‘how about dinner and a movie?’ the female responds with ‘okay, but I’ve seen “Manikin” already.’ The male says he just wants to sleep, but the female wants to talk.”
And they’re interrupted by the helicopter with the three guys arriving (the helicopter spooks the natives).
Joel: “I’ll shoot myself to prove we’re friendly.”
They’re suddenly confronted with a hot native girl who speaks English (or Japanese: same thing)
Joel: “Hey, has anyone called dibs yet? Dibs!”
Crow: (as native girl) “Are you smitten by my eyes by now?”
And an old doctor shows up.
Doctor: “And I have been extremely fortunate. Hokaren is my assitent.”
(indicates hot native girl)
Joel: “Oh, we get the picture.”
(warning them off from the cave they’re looking for)
Hokaren: “It’s called Rainbow Valley”
Crow: “The Care-Bears live there.”
And of course they ignore the warnings and shoot their way out (just a warning, but it’s still mean).
First Host Segment: 5000 Piece Fighting Men and Monsters set! Astonish and baffle your friends and foes as you pulverize Japan! Gamera spits real fire and causes real pain! It’s hilarious! And I want it!
Back in the movie they’re searching the cave and find the opal. Officer guy goes nuts with excitement and gets eventually killed by a scorpion (crazy-guy sees it, but says nothing).
Servo: “Uh, death where is thy sting? We’re waiting.”
It’s actually kind of sad when he dies, when he was so happy just before and crazy-guy just stood there and let him.
Servo: “Hey, let’s put him in a real scary pose.”
Kaseke cries, crazy guy just talks about the opal.
Crazy-guy puts the opal in his pack, then pulls out a few grenades to kill Kaseke with.
Servo: “Hey, that’s not very respectful of your friend’s feelings!”
(watching him light the bombs)
Crow: “Oh, the roadrunner’s never gonna fall for this.”
(after the cave blows up)
Crow: (as crazy-guy) “Oh, shoot! I should have been out of the cave first! Note to self; get out of the cave before blowing it up.”
But Kaseke survived! And is being tended to by the natives.
Crow: “Saigon. I can’t believe I’m still in Saigon.”
Servo: “Oh, he’s missing the Luau!”
(Hokaren comes in)
Crow: “He can wait!”
Hokaren: “Don’t think we saved you out of kindness…”
Joel: “We just like our meat fresh.”
Kaseke: (on the drum-beating natives) “What are they doing?”
Crow: “It’s a long drum solo. It’s not your place to ask.”
The doctor and Hokaren try to convince Kaseke how important the opal is, and that it’s not really an opal.
Hokaren: “You’ve touched something evil.”
Crow: “Oh, I suppose you’re perfect.”
We cut to the ‘opal’ hatching.
Servo: “I think we have pretty much determined that it is not an opal.”
Servo: “Caution: filling is hot and alive.”
Meanwhile, crazy-guy is on the boat rejecting expressions of sympathy for his dead friends.
And the ship begins sinking thanks to the recently hatched monster…then it blows up.
Servo: “At seven PM a main hatch-way caved in.”
(as refugees from the ship are brought to shore)
Servo: “Welcome to Elis Island, your name is now Bob Smith.”
Brother is looking for Kaseke and others, only finds crazy-guy.
Crazy-guy says both friends are dead
Crazy-guy: “He slipped and fell.”
Crow: “Onto some live grenades.”
Pointing-guy: “Hey! What’s that?”
Crow: “It’s your finger and it’s pointing. Dope.”
(the sea begins to churn and bubble)
Servo: “Oh, it’s the ghost of Esther Williams!”
And the fully-grown Barugon shows up.
Joel: “Hi, I’m a juicy new character. Enjoy me! I’m what’s known as the complication. The antagonist, if you will.”
Brother says something incomprehensible.
Joel: “What did he say?”
Crow: “Well, roughly translated it means ‘beat cheeks.’”
They note that Barugon looks kind of like a dog.
Barugon reveals his ramming-tongue to smash a building with it.
Joel: “I’m your boyfriend now, bleh!”
Second Host Segment: Crow and Servo are old Minnesotan women eating out and Joel’s their waiter. It’s a weird little sketch, especially Crow and Servo’s rather disturbing little faces. It’s amusing more than funny.
Back in the movie Barugon is approaching Osaka while brother and crazy-guy discuss getting the opal back.
Crazy-guy let’s slip that he killed his friends. Brother starts attacking him.
Joel: “Tiny-Tim no!”
They fight, crazy-guy wins (it’s surprisingly vicious, especially as crazy-guy smushes him under two heavy lockers)
Barugon begins smashing up the city.
Joel: “You know, I miss my Hot Wheels set.”
(Barugon uses his tongue to freeze the military)
Joel: “You know, you don’t see that a lot in nature.”
Servo: “Property values plummet as whole neighborhoods suffer from freezer-burns.”
Joel: “Oh, I saw a wire! That wrecks the whole thing!”
General: “The monster can destroy everything with its tongue.”
Crow: “You try saying that without laughing.”
(on a sleeping Barugon)
Crow: “He’s dreaming of big, mutated, armor-plated rabbits.”
Barugon uses a rainbow to vaporize the missiles meant to kill him.
Servo: “Well, that went well.”
And Gamera shows up, attracted by the rainbow.
(on some refugees)
Joel: “Oh, Reverend Moon is holding a prayer and share!”
And we learn from a news report that Gamera was frozen solid by Barugon.
Kaseke and Karen show up and she recognizes Barugon.
Kaseke: “Karen, what’s wrong? Are you ill?”
Joel: “I’m carrying Barugon’s child!”
Karen claims to know Barugon’s weakness.
Barugon smashes a bridge.
Joel: “That’s a bridge over troubled models.”
Kaseke and Karen confront crazy-guy and fight.
Servo: “Oh, that’s good, hit him with whicker.”
Karen just stands by…
Crow: “Uh, honey, you can jump in here any time. Anytime…”
She hits crazy-guy with a bottle.
Crow: “Thank you!”
Kaseke winds up winning and tying him up.
Crow: “You’re lucky my chick’s here, man!”
Karen notices he was cut and sucks his blood. Yeah, it’s kind of weird.
Joel: “You are one spooky chick! You mind if I don’t call you again?”
Jump cut to Karen and Kaseke talking to some generals. Apparently Barugon’s weakness is water.
She provides a diamond to tempt Barugon to his death.
Karen: “If you don’t believe me, you are doubting the gods.”
Joel: “Woah, guess I stepped on a few toes there.”
Kaseke: “It’s the only plan that hasn’t been tried.”
Crow: “Well, what about the Z-plan?”
Crazy-guy is freed by some random lady, who cuts him free.
Joel: “Ow, cut the ropes, not my wrists!”
And they hear the news reports about the plan, including the diamond. Crazy-guy decides he wants the diamond.
Crow (as Barugon): “Oh, right, I’m heading for the lake, what you think I was born yesterday? Oh, wait, I was…”
Joel: “You know, don’t you think a disco-ball would be a little cheaper?”
And Barugon randomly decides not to follow the diamond.
Generals yell at Karen for the plan’s failure. Kaseke stands up for her.
General sees Karen crying into Kaseke’s arms.
Joel: “I hate to pull rank on you son, but…”
Random guy notes that Barugon was exposed to an infared ray, which Karen says is why he grew up so fast (as in, what should have taken ten years took an hour at most).
Karen: “He’s really a freak with an abnormal body.”
Crow: “I know the feeling.”
That’s also why Barugon didn’t want the diamond, so they decide to expose the diamond to the same ray.
Kaseke: “Karen, is there any way to make him stay where he is now?”
Crow: “We could staple him to the floor…”
Turns out rain freezes him (no word on why they can’t just blow him up then).
And after irradiating the diamond, they try again.
(as a car approaches the sleeping Barugon)
Servo: “And here comes a hapless family on a Sunday ride.”
Kaseke: “Good…”
Servo: “Well said.”
Kaseke: “What’s wrong?”
Joel: “Everything! We’ve got to lengthen the movie!”
Third Host Segment: They’re hanging out on the beach and Joel talks about the drive-in movies and the ‘stars’ in this movie. Servo and Crow start to worry about his sanity. He goes off the rails at the end, and his mispronounces “Willem Dafoe”’s name.
In the movie, crazy-guy suddenly shows up and steals the diamond at gun-point.
Servo: “Guys, I’m starting to doubt their friendship.”
And he gets eaten for his troubles.
Joel: “Help me! I’m being Frenched to death!”
(on the dismayed heroes)
Crow: “Why are they so sad? That’s the guy who killed his brother!”
Crow: “Well, that’s it. We’re licked.”
(Joel takes an arm for that one!)
Next morning, Karen notes that she always wanted to see the devastating rainbow with her own eyes.
Kaseke: “It’s our punishment for wanting so much wealth.”
Servo: “So what’s gonna happen to Donald Trump?”
They realize that the rainbow doesn’t affect mirrors.
General: “Can we use it against Barugon?”
Crow: “No, but it’s something to do.”
And Kaseke develops a plan, which he illustrates by waving a welding torch around.
They plan to reflect the rainbow onto Barugon and so kill him.
Servo: “Tanks of Windex are commissioned by the government! Kids are told by the thousands not to smudge the mirrors!”
So they attack him to draw out his rainbow…it works and he destroys the tanks.
Joel: “Uh, what was that about repositioning the tanks?”
Servo: “Too late.”
But the rainbow is reflected and Barugon gets burned.
They think Barugon is dead.
Crow (as Barugon): “I’m faking!”
Turns out he isn’t dead.
Kaseke: “We must arouse him!”
Crow: “Hey, I listened to the diamond thing, but I am not going to ‘arouse’ him!”
Karen explains that Barugon will never send out another rainbow since he has learned from his mistake.
Kaseke: “There’s nothing we can do!”
Servo: “That’s the spirit.”
But now Gamera begins to thaw.
Narrator: “Gamera has regained consciousness.”
Servo: “And his pilot has been re-lit”
Servo: “Finally, a fight!”
And fight they do.
It’s actually kind of cool, with Gamera repeatedly gashing him with his tusks, then finally dragging him into the lake to kill him.
General: “He’s completely defeated.”
Servo: “Then why do I feel so empty?”
Joel: “Hey, shouldn’t they kill Gamera now that they’ve got him right there?”
And Kaseke and Karen have a heart-to-heart.
Kaseke: “I feel so alone right now…”
Crow: “Solipsism is its own reward.”
And Karen takes his hand and the movie ends.
Crow: “Gamera will be back in ‘Support your Local Sheriff.’”
Crow sticks around after Joel and Servo leave to see how it turns out (it’s just the credits).
Final Host Segment: Joel explains why Gamera gets top billing despite a total screen-time of about five minutes, then presents some books about monsters in the film business. It’s pretty funny, especially the audio-version of ‘The Velveteen Turtle.’ Then a letter. Frank buys the uncut version of “The Stand” by Stephen King. It’s too heavy for Dr. F. to lift.
Stinger: Sweaty-guy laughs. Meh, not bad.
Movie Quality Rating:
1. Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster
2. The Crawling Eye
3. The Black Scorpion
4. Gamera vs. Barugon
5. Mad Monster
6. Lost Continent
7. Gamera
8. First Spaceship to Venus
9. Rocketship XM
10. Moon Zero Two
11. Godzilla vs. Megalon
12. The Crawling Hand
13. Catalina Caper
14. King Dinosaur
15. Jungle Goddess
16. Wild Rebels
17. The Corpse Vanishes
18. Ring of Terror
19. Untamed Youth
20. The Slime People
21. Project Moonbase
22. The Sidehackers
23. Women of the Prehistoric Planet
24. Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy
25. Cave Dwellers
26. Pod People
27. Hellcats
28. Rocket Attack USA
29. Robot Holocaust
30. Robot Monster
Conclusion: A surprisingly good movie, plus some amusing riffing, makes for a solid episode.
Final Rating: 8/10.
The second Gamera film is, by far, the best of the old series. The main reason for this is that it is the only film in the series to focus entirely upon adults: there are no children in this story. A solid plot about a treasure-hunt gone bad anchors the human story while Barugon is as unique and imaginative a monster as Gamera was and makes for a creditable threat. The human characters are actually kind of interesting and I found myself getting caught up in the brisk, easy-to-follow storyline. In short, this is an actually good Kaiju film; the only one of the old Gamera series that I would place on par with the Godzilla movies of the time.
One rather surprising aspect about the film is that Gamera himself is barely in it: he shows up for an opening sequence attacking a dam, then basically vanishes except for a brief encounter with Barugon until the climax. Quite honestly, if they came up with an alternative means to defeat Barugon, Gamera could have been excised entirely and the film wouldn’t have lost much (I don’t know what it says about the original Gamera films that the best of the lot could easily have been made without Gamera).
So the movie here is above-average for MST3k. The riffing, meanwhile, is also solid, though not brilliant (the best line is Crow’s “Solipsism is its own reward”). And the host segments are also solid, with the best being the brilliant “5000 Piece Fighting Men-and-Monsters Set.” It’s incredibly densely written and goes by so fast that you can barely keep up with the jokes and probably will have to watch it a few times to catch them all.
A pretty decent movie, great riffing, and solid host-segments make for a good episode.
Opening: Tom and Crow have a user-interface war. An instructive look into the early days of personal computers. It’s also pretty funny, especially Tom’s overreaction to Crow’s snark about Mac System 7.
Invention Exchange: (Crow’s arm falls off early on) Joel has an animatronic pop-can to be a spokes-person for recycling. It’s really cute. We also get to see Servo’s extend neck again! The Mads have the cumber-bubble-bum (which Joel invented in Episode 107, Robot Monster). Joel notes it’s familiar as they go into the theater.
Credits, over the ocean like in the first movie, except this one’s in color.
And we get some flash-backs to the first movie.
Servo: “A little background first!”
Narrator: “Again there was failure.”
Joel: “And deep personal shame.”
We learn that the Z-Plan Rocket (which looks completely different this time, by the way) got hit by a meteorite, so Gamera’s back.
Gamera returns and attacks a dam, destroying it and killing untold numbers of innocent people. Our hero, ladies and gentlemen!
Joel: (as Gamera) “I just can’t get close to anyone anymore!”
Servo: “Tokyo, I think it’s about time to start thinking about Solar Power.”
(on the view of the destruction)
Servo: “Woah, looks like Wimberley Stadium after a soccer match.”
And Gamera leaves to feast on a volcano after bursting the dam.
We cut to a couple of guys in a plane talking.
Pilot: “This is my last day up here.”
Joel: “I will serve my master down there.”
Other pilot: “But you’ve just earned your wings after so much dedicated work.”
Servo: “Clarence.”
Cut to some women playing a stringed instrument.
Servo : “I never knew a cheese-grater could sound this good.”
Then a close up on some guys gathering bombs…
Servo: “This oughta shut em’ up.”
…and guns…
Joel: “Oh, come on, now, they’re not that bad!”
Servo: “Uh, guys, maybe you shouldn’t be smoking around those things.”
And the pilot shows up to join them.
Joel: “Hi, I’m dangerous to myself and others.”
Pilot gives the lead guy (his brother) all his money then comments that he wants his own aircraft company.
Brother: “That’ll take money…”
Crow: “And you don’t have any. He just took it.”
Brother says that he found a huge opal during the war and now he wants to go back for it.
Pilot’s name is Kaseke.
So, they’re not exactly crooks, but not exactly honest either. I like the ambiguity here.
Kaseke: “You mean we’re to quit the ship without leave and then reboard it again?”
Crow: “That’s dishonest!”
So they take the grenades and guns to defend themselves against all the creatures in the jungle.
On the ship, Kaseke and crazy-guy work as janitors while a third guy is an officer.
And we arrive on the island, with a lot of dancing girls.
Servo: (interpreting the native dance) “The Male of the tribe is saying ‘how about dinner and a movie?’ the female responds with ‘okay, but I’ve seen “Manikin” already.’ The male says he just wants to sleep, but the female wants to talk.”
And they’re interrupted by the helicopter with the three guys arriving (the helicopter spooks the natives).
Joel: “I’ll shoot myself to prove we’re friendly.”
They’re suddenly confronted with a hot native girl who speaks English (or Japanese: same thing)
Joel: “Hey, has anyone called dibs yet? Dibs!”
Crow: (as native girl) “Are you smitten by my eyes by now?”
And an old doctor shows up.
Doctor: “And I have been extremely fortunate. Hokaren is my assitent.”
(indicates hot native girl)
Joel: “Oh, we get the picture.”
(warning them off from the cave they’re looking for)
Hokaren: “It’s called Rainbow Valley”
Crow: “The Care-Bears live there.”
And of course they ignore the warnings and shoot their way out (just a warning, but it’s still mean).
First Host Segment: 5000 Piece Fighting Men and Monsters set! Astonish and baffle your friends and foes as you pulverize Japan! Gamera spits real fire and causes real pain! It’s hilarious! And I want it!
Back in the movie they’re searching the cave and find the opal. Officer guy goes nuts with excitement and gets eventually killed by a scorpion (crazy-guy sees it, but says nothing).
Servo: “Uh, death where is thy sting? We’re waiting.”
It’s actually kind of sad when he dies, when he was so happy just before and crazy-guy just stood there and let him.
Servo: “Hey, let’s put him in a real scary pose.”
Kaseke cries, crazy guy just talks about the opal.
Crazy-guy puts the opal in his pack, then pulls out a few grenades to kill Kaseke with.
Servo: “Hey, that’s not very respectful of your friend’s feelings!”
(watching him light the bombs)
Crow: “Oh, the roadrunner’s never gonna fall for this.”
(after the cave blows up)
Crow: (as crazy-guy) “Oh, shoot! I should have been out of the cave first! Note to self; get out of the cave before blowing it up.”
But Kaseke survived! And is being tended to by the natives.
Crow: “Saigon. I can’t believe I’m still in Saigon.”
Servo: “Oh, he’s missing the Luau!”
(Hokaren comes in)
Crow: “He can wait!”
Hokaren: “Don’t think we saved you out of kindness…”
Joel: “We just like our meat fresh.”
Kaseke: (on the drum-beating natives) “What are they doing?”
Crow: “It’s a long drum solo. It’s not your place to ask.”
The doctor and Hokaren try to convince Kaseke how important the opal is, and that it’s not really an opal.
Hokaren: “You’ve touched something evil.”
Crow: “Oh, I suppose you’re perfect.”
We cut to the ‘opal’ hatching.
Servo: “I think we have pretty much determined that it is not an opal.”
Servo: “Caution: filling is hot and alive.”
Meanwhile, crazy-guy is on the boat rejecting expressions of sympathy for his dead friends.
And the ship begins sinking thanks to the recently hatched monster…then it blows up.
Servo: “At seven PM a main hatch-way caved in.”
(as refugees from the ship are brought to shore)
Servo: “Welcome to Elis Island, your name is now Bob Smith.”
Brother is looking for Kaseke and others, only finds crazy-guy.
Crazy-guy says both friends are dead
Crazy-guy: “He slipped and fell.”
Crow: “Onto some live grenades.”
Pointing-guy: “Hey! What’s that?”
Crow: “It’s your finger and it’s pointing. Dope.”
(the sea begins to churn and bubble)
Servo: “Oh, it’s the ghost of Esther Williams!”
And the fully-grown Barugon shows up.
Joel: “Hi, I’m a juicy new character. Enjoy me! I’m what’s known as the complication. The antagonist, if you will.”
Brother says something incomprehensible.
Joel: “What did he say?”
Crow: “Well, roughly translated it means ‘beat cheeks.’”
They note that Barugon looks kind of like a dog.
Barugon reveals his ramming-tongue to smash a building with it.
Joel: “I’m your boyfriend now, bleh!”
Second Host Segment: Crow and Servo are old Minnesotan women eating out and Joel’s their waiter. It’s a weird little sketch, especially Crow and Servo’s rather disturbing little faces. It’s amusing more than funny.
Back in the movie Barugon is approaching Osaka while brother and crazy-guy discuss getting the opal back.
Crazy-guy let’s slip that he killed his friends. Brother starts attacking him.
Joel: “Tiny-Tim no!”
They fight, crazy-guy wins (it’s surprisingly vicious, especially as crazy-guy smushes him under two heavy lockers)
Barugon begins smashing up the city.
Joel: “You know, I miss my Hot Wheels set.”
(Barugon uses his tongue to freeze the military)
Joel: “You know, you don’t see that a lot in nature.”
Servo: “Property values plummet as whole neighborhoods suffer from freezer-burns.”
Joel: “Oh, I saw a wire! That wrecks the whole thing!”
General: “The monster can destroy everything with its tongue.”
Crow: “You try saying that without laughing.”
(on a sleeping Barugon)
Crow: “He’s dreaming of big, mutated, armor-plated rabbits.”
Barugon uses a rainbow to vaporize the missiles meant to kill him.
Servo: “Well, that went well.”
And Gamera shows up, attracted by the rainbow.
(on some refugees)
Joel: “Oh, Reverend Moon is holding a prayer and share!”
And we learn from a news report that Gamera was frozen solid by Barugon.
Kaseke and Karen show up and she recognizes Barugon.
Kaseke: “Karen, what’s wrong? Are you ill?”
Joel: “I’m carrying Barugon’s child!”
Karen claims to know Barugon’s weakness.
Barugon smashes a bridge.
Joel: “That’s a bridge over troubled models.”
Kaseke and Karen confront crazy-guy and fight.
Servo: “Oh, that’s good, hit him with whicker.”
Karen just stands by…
Crow: “Uh, honey, you can jump in here any time. Anytime…”
She hits crazy-guy with a bottle.
Crow: “Thank you!”
Kaseke winds up winning and tying him up.
Crow: “You’re lucky my chick’s here, man!”
Karen notices he was cut and sucks his blood. Yeah, it’s kind of weird.
Joel: “You are one spooky chick! You mind if I don’t call you again?”
Jump cut to Karen and Kaseke talking to some generals. Apparently Barugon’s weakness is water.
She provides a diamond to tempt Barugon to his death.
Karen: “If you don’t believe me, you are doubting the gods.”
Joel: “Woah, guess I stepped on a few toes there.”
Kaseke: “It’s the only plan that hasn’t been tried.”
Crow: “Well, what about the Z-plan?”
Crazy-guy is freed by some random lady, who cuts him free.
Joel: “Ow, cut the ropes, not my wrists!”
And they hear the news reports about the plan, including the diamond. Crazy-guy decides he wants the diamond.
Crow (as Barugon): “Oh, right, I’m heading for the lake, what you think I was born yesterday? Oh, wait, I was…”
Joel: “You know, don’t you think a disco-ball would be a little cheaper?”
And Barugon randomly decides not to follow the diamond.
Generals yell at Karen for the plan’s failure. Kaseke stands up for her.
General sees Karen crying into Kaseke’s arms.
Joel: “I hate to pull rank on you son, but…”
Random guy notes that Barugon was exposed to an infared ray, which Karen says is why he grew up so fast (as in, what should have taken ten years took an hour at most).
Karen: “He’s really a freak with an abnormal body.”
Crow: “I know the feeling.”
That’s also why Barugon didn’t want the diamond, so they decide to expose the diamond to the same ray.
Kaseke: “Karen, is there any way to make him stay where he is now?”
Crow: “We could staple him to the floor…”
Turns out rain freezes him (no word on why they can’t just blow him up then).
And after irradiating the diamond, they try again.
(as a car approaches the sleeping Barugon)
Servo: “And here comes a hapless family on a Sunday ride.”
Kaseke: “Good…”
Servo: “Well said.”
Kaseke: “What’s wrong?”
Joel: “Everything! We’ve got to lengthen the movie!”
Third Host Segment: They’re hanging out on the beach and Joel talks about the drive-in movies and the ‘stars’ in this movie. Servo and Crow start to worry about his sanity. He goes off the rails at the end, and his mispronounces “Willem Dafoe”’s name.
In the movie, crazy-guy suddenly shows up and steals the diamond at gun-point.
Servo: “Guys, I’m starting to doubt their friendship.”
And he gets eaten for his troubles.
Joel: “Help me! I’m being Frenched to death!”
(on the dismayed heroes)
Crow: “Why are they so sad? That’s the guy who killed his brother!”
Crow: “Well, that’s it. We’re licked.”
(Joel takes an arm for that one!)
Next morning, Karen notes that she always wanted to see the devastating rainbow with her own eyes.
Kaseke: “It’s our punishment for wanting so much wealth.”
Servo: “So what’s gonna happen to Donald Trump?”
They realize that the rainbow doesn’t affect mirrors.
General: “Can we use it against Barugon?”
Crow: “No, but it’s something to do.”
And Kaseke develops a plan, which he illustrates by waving a welding torch around.
They plan to reflect the rainbow onto Barugon and so kill him.
Servo: “Tanks of Windex are commissioned by the government! Kids are told by the thousands not to smudge the mirrors!”
So they attack him to draw out his rainbow…it works and he destroys the tanks.
Joel: “Uh, what was that about repositioning the tanks?”
Servo: “Too late.”
But the rainbow is reflected and Barugon gets burned.
They think Barugon is dead.
Crow (as Barugon): “I’m faking!”
Turns out he isn’t dead.
Kaseke: “We must arouse him!”
Crow: “Hey, I listened to the diamond thing, but I am not going to ‘arouse’ him!”
Karen explains that Barugon will never send out another rainbow since he has learned from his mistake.
Kaseke: “There’s nothing we can do!”
Servo: “That’s the spirit.”
But now Gamera begins to thaw.
Narrator: “Gamera has regained consciousness.”
Servo: “And his pilot has been re-lit”
Servo: “Finally, a fight!”
And fight they do.
It’s actually kind of cool, with Gamera repeatedly gashing him with his tusks, then finally dragging him into the lake to kill him.
General: “He’s completely defeated.”
Servo: “Then why do I feel so empty?”
Joel: “Hey, shouldn’t they kill Gamera now that they’ve got him right there?”
And Kaseke and Karen have a heart-to-heart.
Kaseke: “I feel so alone right now…”
Crow: “Solipsism is its own reward.”
And Karen takes his hand and the movie ends.
Crow: “Gamera will be back in ‘Support your Local Sheriff.’”
Crow sticks around after Joel and Servo leave to see how it turns out (it’s just the credits).
Final Host Segment: Joel explains why Gamera gets top billing despite a total screen-time of about five minutes, then presents some books about monsters in the film business. It’s pretty funny, especially the audio-version of ‘The Velveteen Turtle.’ Then a letter. Frank buys the uncut version of “The Stand” by Stephen King. It’s too heavy for Dr. F. to lift.
Stinger: Sweaty-guy laughs. Meh, not bad.
Movie Quality Rating:
1. Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster
2. The Crawling Eye
3. The Black Scorpion
4. Gamera vs. Barugon
5. Mad Monster
6. Lost Continent
7. Gamera
8. First Spaceship to Venus
9. Rocketship XM
10. Moon Zero Two
11. Godzilla vs. Megalon
12. The Crawling Hand
13. Catalina Caper
14. King Dinosaur
15. Jungle Goddess
16. Wild Rebels
17. The Corpse Vanishes
18. Ring of Terror
19. Untamed Youth
20. The Slime People
21. Project Moonbase
22. The Sidehackers
23. Women of the Prehistoric Planet
24. Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy
25. Cave Dwellers
26. Pod People
27. Hellcats
28. Rocket Attack USA
29. Robot Holocaust
30. Robot Monster
Conclusion: A surprisingly good movie, plus some amusing riffing, makes for a solid episode.
Final Rating: 8/10.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Returns, Retribution, and Remembrance: On the Meaning in Slasher Movies
The second Golden Age of the genre film was initiated by the release of Jaws in 1975 and ended with Tremors in 1990. The sixteen-year period saw some of the best science-fiction and horror movies of all time.
Limiting ourselves to true classics, this period produced Jaws, the three Star Wars films Aliens, Halloween, A Nightmare on Elm Street, The Terminator, Blade Runner, Back to the Future, and Ghostbusters. Expanding our view a little, we find such excellent fare as Alien, Evil Dead 2, Predator, Gremlins, Fright Night, The Howling, Tron, Tremors, The Abyss, and Robocop. Truly it was the best time for films of this sort since their hey-day in the 1950s.
And yet…the movies that are equally, if not more remembered, that are most associated with the time are not these giants, but the seething undercurrent of trash that shared the screen with them. As much as anything, this period is remembered as the time of the Slasher film.
Although stemming primarily from the excellent Halloween, the true Slasher film really arrived with the phenomenally successful Friday the 13th, in 1980. Seeing how much money could be made on little investment and even less talent, every hack producer (no pun intended) started churning out these flicks by the dozen until, less than five years after the craze had begun, the genre had become a joke even to itself.
But still they came, and still they were profitable. Today some are even considered sort-of classics, despite their manifest lack of class. It is not enough to simply dismiss them, as is so easy (and apparently sensible) to do, for clearly they have struck a chord and somehow it is fitting that they should be a particularly loud voice in the story of the Eighties.
Every age and particularly those that produce great works of imaginative art has its own particular fear. In the 1950s, the first Golden Age, the fear was science; the fear of what man could or would do in the future. In the wake of the most destructive war in history, the atom bomb, and unprecedented advances in technology, men wondered where it all would lead. This fear drove the great (and less great) Science Fiction and monster films of the period.
The 1980s, meanwhile, were a period of relative calm following two tumultuous decades of social upheaval. The people of the eighties had endured Vietnam and the associated protests, Watergate, the Civil Rights movement, the Sexual Revolution, and a massive, relatively sudden shift from the older paradigm of their parents to a new, more permissive, relative, and inconsequential one. They were coming off an economic recession. Now they were enjoying a time of economic prosperity, an immensely popular president, and a period of relatively little war or upheaval, at least as far as Americans were concerned.
The primary fear of the eighties, therefore, was fear of the past. The fear that they were forgetting important things, the fear that what had happened during those turbulent years would require an accounting, the fear that those things they thought dead were not quite so dead after all, and the nagging fear that the issues that had so divided the nation had never really been settled. In short, it was essentially “did I leave the stove on” writ large.
We see this worry about the past in almost all the great films of the era: Back to the Future mixes nostalgia for the last relatively peaceful decade with a young man’s disappointment with his parents and desire to change the past for the better. Ghostbusters and the Evil Dead films (among others) deal with the rise of ancient evils upon the present. Fright Night sees an old-school monster –a vampire – returning and forces its heroes to take past traditions (i.e. religious faith and its symbols) seriously to defeat it. What was a game to the people of the eighties must become deadly serious to defend against this ancient evil. A Nightmare on Elm Street is about the very memories of a defeated force of evil attacking the survivors. Even movies set in the future, such as Aliens and The Terminator deal with the past. Aliens is a Vietnam movie in space, expressing the shadow that conflict still held and the fear that it might be repeated in the future. The Terminator is about two warring forces attempting to change their past by returning to our present, so the whole film is about the shadow the present shall cast upon the future in its turn.
But perhaps no films express this fear as consistently as the Slasher movies, for whom fear of the past was their main theme. The basic outline of a Slasher movie remained largely the same for almost all of the many, many such films that were released: at some point in the past a crime was committed which was somehow not adequately dealt with. Possibly an innocent (or even not so innocent) man was maimed, tormented, or seemingly killed. Years later, on the anniversary of the event, either the victim or the perpetrator (or someone connected with them) returns to mete out punishment on those involved and anyone who gets in his way.
The figure of the Slasher represents fear of the past: of crimes being discovered, of past mistakes returning, of past sins being punished. Surely for the teenagers experimenting with drugs or having unprecedented levels of sex such fears were often only too real. For the parents the fear that old tragedies were being forgotten and that old mistakes could burst out at any moment must have been equally real.
The sixties and seventies could perhaps be seen as a battle for and against tradition. A battle which the ‘for’ crowd lost. The Slasher film expresses the nervous fear of the victors by asking three questions: “What have we killed?” “Are we sure it is dead?” and “What if it isn’t?”
Consider, as an example, the most exemplary (meaning they are a good example, not that they are good in any other way) films of the genre: The Friday the 13th series. The fear of the past saturates these films. The first movie tells of an old summer camp being re-opened after having been closed for two decades following a tragedy that had occurred there…and that turns out to have been the result of an earlier, forgotten tragedy in its turn.
Those involved in the camp’s re-opening do so over the warnings of the local townsfolk, who are sure nothing good can come from stirring up those old memories again. And of course they are right, as the counselors are picked off one-by-one.
The townsfolk are concerned because the camp was closed in the first place following the murder of two counselors and as far as they are concerned the tragedy is still too fresh in the memory of the area to do anything as flippant as start up the summer-camp again. At the end, though, the shadow of the past grows even darker when we meet Mrs. Voorhees.
“Did you know that a boy drowned here?” she asks Alice, who is now the only survivor. No, Alice didn’t. Apparently, no one knew or cared about Jason Voorhees’ death. The opening scene implies that the counselors’ whose neglect resulted in his death weren’t even fired. It is their deaths, not his, that close the camp. Here, therefore, we have the really forgotten tragedy, the even from the past that is being defiled and ignored until it forcibly returns to remind the present that it happened. Only one person cared about that little deformed boy, and the disregard everyone showed his death drove her insane.
The fear here is the question of what tragedies have been ignored. What might the consequences be of such neglect? The popular urban legend of the time of American POWs still being held in Vietnam spoke to a similar fear; the fear of forgetting and of what is being forgotten.
As the series went on, Jason (as far as he could be called a symbol at all) continued to represent this reminding, retributive force. He is localizes, bound to Camp Crystal Lake and its surrounding area (although he can and does venture beyond, it is always against his will and he always returns). The transgression that evoke his wrath is the fact that people keep returning to this place; it is the sight of a tragedy and they repeatedly ignore what happened there.
Much has been made – I think too much – of the idea that Slashers “punish” those who transgress moral boundaries. Put crudely, the promiscuous die, the virgin survives. This is true to an extent, but not to the extent most commentators take it. For instances, it is clear that the “virgin is spared” idea is not at all supported by the films themselves: the Slasher attacks the virgin as fiercely as he does anyone else. Clearly the “have sex and die” idea is something that comes from the script or directing, not as a motivation for the Slasher. The Final Girl (as she is called) is not “spared,” what saves her is that she fights back. Rather, the quality that really saves the Final Girl is often simply awareness: she pays attention, notices when things are going wrong, often sees the Slasher before it attacks her. This ties in with the fear of the past: the Final Girl tends to be the only one who takes the past seriously by discovering the Slasher’s history, evincing understanding for his motives, and even sometimes trying to make amends. Often she uses what she has learned to help her defeat the Slashers (for perhaps the best example of this, see Friday the 13th part 2). The Final Girl, therefore, makes an effort to remember and acknowledge the past and it is this, more so than her “virginity” that saves her.
In addition, the Final Girl oftentimes has some tragedy in her past, or at least actually has a past, in marked contrast to her fellows. Alice in the first Friday is implied to be trying to get away from something. Chris in Part 3 is traumatized by a childhood encounter with Jason (nonsensical, but it counts). Tommy Jarvis, who becomes Jason’s nemesis, struggles with the trauma of his first bloody encounter with Jason in 5 and 6 (the two films being mutually exclusive). Tina of Part 7 lives in the shadow of accidentally killing her father with her psychic powers while her would-be boyfriend (who also survives) recounts a troubled past. Rennie of Part 8 also suffers from a childhood encounter with Jason (also nonsensical), and the hero of Part 9 is attempting to rectify the failures in his past, which include a child he’s never seen, when he is sidetracked into fighting Jason. In Freddy vs. Jason, meanwhile, Final Girl Lori suffers from twin past tragedies, both of which are revealed to have been caused by Freddy (more on that film later). Note also how often the past traumas and tragedies are linked directly with the Slasher himself, who becomes a kidn of personification of the lingering or hidden damaging effects of such events and of the consequences of forgetting or trying to repress them.
Jason represents retribution and reminding; the danger of forgetting tragedies and transgressing old boundaries. The other great horror icon of the decade, Freddy Krueger, represents the opposite fear; fear of remembrance, of things thought settled that are not really settled, problems not fully dealt with, relapses, chickens come home to roost. Jason is the present looking back, Freddy is the past looking forward. Jason represents the forgotten veteran, the abandoned morality, the defaced monument. Freddy represents the old drug addiction you never quite overcame, the venereal disease you never knew you had, the psychological problem you thought had been cured. In short, Freddy is the personification of the consequences of the drug-and-sex culture of the past two decades.
Do not think I am being too complimentary. I don’t think for a moment expect that the makers of Friday the 13th and all its bastard progeny had any of this in mind during the making of the films; they were just business, a get-rich-quick scheme. But they were products of their time and they were what the public wanted and they wouldn’t have been half as successful if they didn’t’ tap into something deeper than “gore and boobs,” if only accidentally.
The Nightmare films, at least at first, are of a different breed. Sean S. Cunningham, who made Friday, was a businessman, an entrepreneur. Wes Craven was an artist. So while I doubt my interpretations were anywhere near Cunningham’s mind, I suspect strongly that Craven knew exactly what he was doing.
I have given one brief interpretation of Nightmare elsewhere, and there is no time now to give it its full due. Suffice to say, Freddy is not only a bad memory come to life, but he preys on victims who are already leading lives of, at best, thinly disguised disorder and lives beset with mistakes and sins, all of which are magnified in the pressure brought on by Freddy.
For example, Nancy’s mother is shown to have a drinking problem, which evidently is already a source of strain on her marriage (note the stiff greeting her and her husband exchange in their first scene together). As the situation grows worse and worse, so does her drinking, until finally her drunkenness contributes to the film’s most gruesome death. Similarly, first victim Tina has a neglectful mother who abandons her to go on a weekend trip with her piggish boyfriend, while Tina’s own boyfriend is a juvenile delinquent whose past makes him the chief suspect in Tina’s murder…and whose own death is therefore passed over without comment. Freddy is not just a bad memory returned to life, but he brings other bad memories with him. He is literally the past attacking the present.
Perhaps no film explores these themes better or more directly than Freddy vs. Jason, the long-awaited crossover of the two series, the finale for both of them, and one of the best films in either.
Interestingly, both Freddy and Jason are memories in this film for the audience as well as the characters. By the time it was released, Freddy hadn’t been on screen for nine years, while Jason had been absent for ten years, not counting Jason X the previous year, which holds the dubious-yet-impressive distinction of being possibly the stupidest film in the whole series. In the world of the film, Jason has been absent for an indeterminate amount of time (long enough for everyone to assume he’s dead), while Freddy has been absent for seven years, thanks to the extreme efforts of the Springwood authorities to defeat him the only way they can: by forgetting him.
The forgotten Freddy, however, has struck a plan to get around this by reviving Jason, the monster of remembrance, to force the people of Springwood to remember him. When Jason starts killing the local population, the authorities panic and assume it’s Freddy again…meaning that, very soon, it will be.
The plot of the film, therefore, rests on the tension of forgetting and remembering of the past. Its Final Girl, Lori, as has already been mentioned, is emotionally stunted by twin traumas in her past: her mother’s sudden death and the subsequent disappearance of her boyfriend. As the film goes on, she discovers partial truths about these events which push her even further into danger by directing her away from people who could have protected her (her father, the police) and causing her and her friends to try to take on Freddy and Jason themselves. In the end, though, she discovers the truth that Freddy was responsible for both of the tragedies by killing her mother, which her boyfriend witnessed, but misconstrued (possibly by Freddy’s intention) what he was seeing to be Lori’s father killing her, resulting in his sudden removal for fear that he has found out about Freddy (all the teens who knew about Freddy have been institutionalized to prevent them telling others about him). The unknown elements in her past, and the subsequent half-remembrances, lead her further and further into danger. It is only after she learns the whole truth that she is able to take charge…and to defeat Freddy once and for all, symbolically ending the past’s reign over her present.
In the meantime, though, Freddy has been having problems of his own. Having unleashed Jason to remind Springwood about himself, he never stopped to consider what might happen afterwards…or that, for someone who is literally a bad memory, releasing an engine of retribution might not be the best idea, since what is retribution if not a counterforce to bad memories? Jason, true to his nature, refuses to be shut down: he refuses to let Freddy forget about him either. As Freddy himself puts it, “HE JUST WONT STOP!”
In response, Freddy digs up horrors in Jason’s past: specifically, his death by drowning and his relationship with his mother. Freddy, therefore, attacks Jason with Jason’s own past. And it works, at least at first. The trouble is, Jason has things to remind Freddy about too. Freddy, in life, was child-murderer and Jason, it is shown, is a child at heart (a feral, deranged child, granted). When they next meet, it is on Jason’s terms…and he makes it abundantly clear that he remembers what Freddy did to him. Freddy has revived and then tormented an indestructible force of retribution, and now he finds it visiting his own sins upon himself. Jason the child-man rips Freddy the child-murderer to pieces and there is nothing Freddy, for all his power, can do about it. Retribution meets Memory.
In the end, though, they can’t kill each other. How can Memory defeat the force of Remembrance or Retribution destroy Memory? What can happen, and what does happen, however, is that Retribution contains Memory. The last shot of film is Jason emerging from the lake, as invulnerable as ever, with what’s left of Freddy firmly in his possession. The last shot of the last true Slasher film is of the personification of Bad Memories secure in the power of the force of Remembrance and Retribution, not forgotten, and with an implicit warning not to try to forget again, but faced and dealt with at last.
The Slasher movies were the rather repulsive expression of a society living under the shadow of its past deeds and uncertain about what exactly it had done. Their theme, essentially, is that the past is often frightening and rife with sins and mistakes, but trying to forget it or shove it aside can be a very dangerous thing, as it has ways of forcing you to remember it. The only way to deal with the past is to face it head on, no matter how horrific it might be. Only then can we move on and continue to live.
Limiting ourselves to true classics, this period produced Jaws, the three Star Wars films Aliens, Halloween, A Nightmare on Elm Street, The Terminator, Blade Runner, Back to the Future, and Ghostbusters. Expanding our view a little, we find such excellent fare as Alien, Evil Dead 2, Predator, Gremlins, Fright Night, The Howling, Tron, Tremors, The Abyss, and Robocop. Truly it was the best time for films of this sort since their hey-day in the 1950s.
And yet…the movies that are equally, if not more remembered, that are most associated with the time are not these giants, but the seething undercurrent of trash that shared the screen with them. As much as anything, this period is remembered as the time of the Slasher film.
Although stemming primarily from the excellent Halloween, the true Slasher film really arrived with the phenomenally successful Friday the 13th, in 1980. Seeing how much money could be made on little investment and even less talent, every hack producer (no pun intended) started churning out these flicks by the dozen until, less than five years after the craze had begun, the genre had become a joke even to itself.
But still they came, and still they were profitable. Today some are even considered sort-of classics, despite their manifest lack of class. It is not enough to simply dismiss them, as is so easy (and apparently sensible) to do, for clearly they have struck a chord and somehow it is fitting that they should be a particularly loud voice in the story of the Eighties.
Every age and particularly those that produce great works of imaginative art has its own particular fear. In the 1950s, the first Golden Age, the fear was science; the fear of what man could or would do in the future. In the wake of the most destructive war in history, the atom bomb, and unprecedented advances in technology, men wondered where it all would lead. This fear drove the great (and less great) Science Fiction and monster films of the period.
The 1980s, meanwhile, were a period of relative calm following two tumultuous decades of social upheaval. The people of the eighties had endured Vietnam and the associated protests, Watergate, the Civil Rights movement, the Sexual Revolution, and a massive, relatively sudden shift from the older paradigm of their parents to a new, more permissive, relative, and inconsequential one. They were coming off an economic recession. Now they were enjoying a time of economic prosperity, an immensely popular president, and a period of relatively little war or upheaval, at least as far as Americans were concerned.
The primary fear of the eighties, therefore, was fear of the past. The fear that they were forgetting important things, the fear that what had happened during those turbulent years would require an accounting, the fear that those things they thought dead were not quite so dead after all, and the nagging fear that the issues that had so divided the nation had never really been settled. In short, it was essentially “did I leave the stove on” writ large.
We see this worry about the past in almost all the great films of the era: Back to the Future mixes nostalgia for the last relatively peaceful decade with a young man’s disappointment with his parents and desire to change the past for the better. Ghostbusters and the Evil Dead films (among others) deal with the rise of ancient evils upon the present. Fright Night sees an old-school monster –a vampire – returning and forces its heroes to take past traditions (i.e. religious faith and its symbols) seriously to defeat it. What was a game to the people of the eighties must become deadly serious to defend against this ancient evil. A Nightmare on Elm Street is about the very memories of a defeated force of evil attacking the survivors. Even movies set in the future, such as Aliens and The Terminator deal with the past. Aliens is a Vietnam movie in space, expressing the shadow that conflict still held and the fear that it might be repeated in the future. The Terminator is about two warring forces attempting to change their past by returning to our present, so the whole film is about the shadow the present shall cast upon the future in its turn.
But perhaps no films express this fear as consistently as the Slasher movies, for whom fear of the past was their main theme. The basic outline of a Slasher movie remained largely the same for almost all of the many, many such films that were released: at some point in the past a crime was committed which was somehow not adequately dealt with. Possibly an innocent (or even not so innocent) man was maimed, tormented, or seemingly killed. Years later, on the anniversary of the event, either the victim or the perpetrator (or someone connected with them) returns to mete out punishment on those involved and anyone who gets in his way.
The figure of the Slasher represents fear of the past: of crimes being discovered, of past mistakes returning, of past sins being punished. Surely for the teenagers experimenting with drugs or having unprecedented levels of sex such fears were often only too real. For the parents the fear that old tragedies were being forgotten and that old mistakes could burst out at any moment must have been equally real.
The sixties and seventies could perhaps be seen as a battle for and against tradition. A battle which the ‘for’ crowd lost. The Slasher film expresses the nervous fear of the victors by asking three questions: “What have we killed?” “Are we sure it is dead?” and “What if it isn’t?”
Consider, as an example, the most exemplary (meaning they are a good example, not that they are good in any other way) films of the genre: The Friday the 13th series. The fear of the past saturates these films. The first movie tells of an old summer camp being re-opened after having been closed for two decades following a tragedy that had occurred there…and that turns out to have been the result of an earlier, forgotten tragedy in its turn.
Those involved in the camp’s re-opening do so over the warnings of the local townsfolk, who are sure nothing good can come from stirring up those old memories again. And of course they are right, as the counselors are picked off one-by-one.
The townsfolk are concerned because the camp was closed in the first place following the murder of two counselors and as far as they are concerned the tragedy is still too fresh in the memory of the area to do anything as flippant as start up the summer-camp again. At the end, though, the shadow of the past grows even darker when we meet Mrs. Voorhees.
“Did you know that a boy drowned here?” she asks Alice, who is now the only survivor. No, Alice didn’t. Apparently, no one knew or cared about Jason Voorhees’ death. The opening scene implies that the counselors’ whose neglect resulted in his death weren’t even fired. It is their deaths, not his, that close the camp. Here, therefore, we have the really forgotten tragedy, the even from the past that is being defiled and ignored until it forcibly returns to remind the present that it happened. Only one person cared about that little deformed boy, and the disregard everyone showed his death drove her insane.
The fear here is the question of what tragedies have been ignored. What might the consequences be of such neglect? The popular urban legend of the time of American POWs still being held in Vietnam spoke to a similar fear; the fear of forgetting and of what is being forgotten.
As the series went on, Jason (as far as he could be called a symbol at all) continued to represent this reminding, retributive force. He is localizes, bound to Camp Crystal Lake and its surrounding area (although he can and does venture beyond, it is always against his will and he always returns). The transgression that evoke his wrath is the fact that people keep returning to this place; it is the sight of a tragedy and they repeatedly ignore what happened there.
Much has been made – I think too much – of the idea that Slashers “punish” those who transgress moral boundaries. Put crudely, the promiscuous die, the virgin survives. This is true to an extent, but not to the extent most commentators take it. For instances, it is clear that the “virgin is spared” idea is not at all supported by the films themselves: the Slasher attacks the virgin as fiercely as he does anyone else. Clearly the “have sex and die” idea is something that comes from the script or directing, not as a motivation for the Slasher. The Final Girl (as she is called) is not “spared,” what saves her is that she fights back. Rather, the quality that really saves the Final Girl is often simply awareness: she pays attention, notices when things are going wrong, often sees the Slasher before it attacks her. This ties in with the fear of the past: the Final Girl tends to be the only one who takes the past seriously by discovering the Slasher’s history, evincing understanding for his motives, and even sometimes trying to make amends. Often she uses what she has learned to help her defeat the Slashers (for perhaps the best example of this, see Friday the 13th part 2). The Final Girl, therefore, makes an effort to remember and acknowledge the past and it is this, more so than her “virginity” that saves her.
In addition, the Final Girl oftentimes has some tragedy in her past, or at least actually has a past, in marked contrast to her fellows. Alice in the first Friday is implied to be trying to get away from something. Chris in Part 3 is traumatized by a childhood encounter with Jason (nonsensical, but it counts). Tommy Jarvis, who becomes Jason’s nemesis, struggles with the trauma of his first bloody encounter with Jason in 5 and 6 (the two films being mutually exclusive). Tina of Part 7 lives in the shadow of accidentally killing her father with her psychic powers while her would-be boyfriend (who also survives) recounts a troubled past. Rennie of Part 8 also suffers from a childhood encounter with Jason (also nonsensical), and the hero of Part 9 is attempting to rectify the failures in his past, which include a child he’s never seen, when he is sidetracked into fighting Jason. In Freddy vs. Jason, meanwhile, Final Girl Lori suffers from twin past tragedies, both of which are revealed to have been caused by Freddy (more on that film later). Note also how often the past traumas and tragedies are linked directly with the Slasher himself, who becomes a kidn of personification of the lingering or hidden damaging effects of such events and of the consequences of forgetting or trying to repress them.
Jason represents retribution and reminding; the danger of forgetting tragedies and transgressing old boundaries. The other great horror icon of the decade, Freddy Krueger, represents the opposite fear; fear of remembrance, of things thought settled that are not really settled, problems not fully dealt with, relapses, chickens come home to roost. Jason is the present looking back, Freddy is the past looking forward. Jason represents the forgotten veteran, the abandoned morality, the defaced monument. Freddy represents the old drug addiction you never quite overcame, the venereal disease you never knew you had, the psychological problem you thought had been cured. In short, Freddy is the personification of the consequences of the drug-and-sex culture of the past two decades.
Do not think I am being too complimentary. I don’t think for a moment expect that the makers of Friday the 13th and all its bastard progeny had any of this in mind during the making of the films; they were just business, a get-rich-quick scheme. But they were products of their time and they were what the public wanted and they wouldn’t have been half as successful if they didn’t’ tap into something deeper than “gore and boobs,” if only accidentally.
The Nightmare films, at least at first, are of a different breed. Sean S. Cunningham, who made Friday, was a businessman, an entrepreneur. Wes Craven was an artist. So while I doubt my interpretations were anywhere near Cunningham’s mind, I suspect strongly that Craven knew exactly what he was doing.
I have given one brief interpretation of Nightmare elsewhere, and there is no time now to give it its full due. Suffice to say, Freddy is not only a bad memory come to life, but he preys on victims who are already leading lives of, at best, thinly disguised disorder and lives beset with mistakes and sins, all of which are magnified in the pressure brought on by Freddy.
For example, Nancy’s mother is shown to have a drinking problem, which evidently is already a source of strain on her marriage (note the stiff greeting her and her husband exchange in their first scene together). As the situation grows worse and worse, so does her drinking, until finally her drunkenness contributes to the film’s most gruesome death. Similarly, first victim Tina has a neglectful mother who abandons her to go on a weekend trip with her piggish boyfriend, while Tina’s own boyfriend is a juvenile delinquent whose past makes him the chief suspect in Tina’s murder…and whose own death is therefore passed over without comment. Freddy is not just a bad memory returned to life, but he brings other bad memories with him. He is literally the past attacking the present.
Perhaps no film explores these themes better or more directly than Freddy vs. Jason, the long-awaited crossover of the two series, the finale for both of them, and one of the best films in either.
Interestingly, both Freddy and Jason are memories in this film for the audience as well as the characters. By the time it was released, Freddy hadn’t been on screen for nine years, while Jason had been absent for ten years, not counting Jason X the previous year, which holds the dubious-yet-impressive distinction of being possibly the stupidest film in the whole series. In the world of the film, Jason has been absent for an indeterminate amount of time (long enough for everyone to assume he’s dead), while Freddy has been absent for seven years, thanks to the extreme efforts of the Springwood authorities to defeat him the only way they can: by forgetting him.
The forgotten Freddy, however, has struck a plan to get around this by reviving Jason, the monster of remembrance, to force the people of Springwood to remember him. When Jason starts killing the local population, the authorities panic and assume it’s Freddy again…meaning that, very soon, it will be.
The plot of the film, therefore, rests on the tension of forgetting and remembering of the past. Its Final Girl, Lori, as has already been mentioned, is emotionally stunted by twin traumas in her past: her mother’s sudden death and the subsequent disappearance of her boyfriend. As the film goes on, she discovers partial truths about these events which push her even further into danger by directing her away from people who could have protected her (her father, the police) and causing her and her friends to try to take on Freddy and Jason themselves. In the end, though, she discovers the truth that Freddy was responsible for both of the tragedies by killing her mother, which her boyfriend witnessed, but misconstrued (possibly by Freddy’s intention) what he was seeing to be Lori’s father killing her, resulting in his sudden removal for fear that he has found out about Freddy (all the teens who knew about Freddy have been institutionalized to prevent them telling others about him). The unknown elements in her past, and the subsequent half-remembrances, lead her further and further into danger. It is only after she learns the whole truth that she is able to take charge…and to defeat Freddy once and for all, symbolically ending the past’s reign over her present.
In the meantime, though, Freddy has been having problems of his own. Having unleashed Jason to remind Springwood about himself, he never stopped to consider what might happen afterwards…or that, for someone who is literally a bad memory, releasing an engine of retribution might not be the best idea, since what is retribution if not a counterforce to bad memories? Jason, true to his nature, refuses to be shut down: he refuses to let Freddy forget about him either. As Freddy himself puts it, “HE JUST WONT STOP!”
In response, Freddy digs up horrors in Jason’s past: specifically, his death by drowning and his relationship with his mother. Freddy, therefore, attacks Jason with Jason’s own past. And it works, at least at first. The trouble is, Jason has things to remind Freddy about too. Freddy, in life, was child-murderer and Jason, it is shown, is a child at heart (a feral, deranged child, granted). When they next meet, it is on Jason’s terms…and he makes it abundantly clear that he remembers what Freddy did to him. Freddy has revived and then tormented an indestructible force of retribution, and now he finds it visiting his own sins upon himself. Jason the child-man rips Freddy the child-murderer to pieces and there is nothing Freddy, for all his power, can do about it. Retribution meets Memory.
In the end, though, they can’t kill each other. How can Memory defeat the force of Remembrance or Retribution destroy Memory? What can happen, and what does happen, however, is that Retribution contains Memory. The last shot of film is Jason emerging from the lake, as invulnerable as ever, with what’s left of Freddy firmly in his possession. The last shot of the last true Slasher film is of the personification of Bad Memories secure in the power of the force of Remembrance and Retribution, not forgotten, and with an implicit warning not to try to forget again, but faced and dealt with at last.
The Slasher movies were the rather repulsive expression of a society living under the shadow of its past deeds and uncertain about what exactly it had done. Their theme, essentially, is that the past is often frightening and rife with sins and mistakes, but trying to forget it or shove it aside can be a very dangerous thing, as it has ways of forcing you to remember it. The only way to deal with the past is to face it head on, no matter how horrific it might be. Only then can we move on and continue to live.
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