MST3K – Episode 204: Catalina Caper

            This is a rather unusual episode in that they’re riffing an intentional comedy. Catalina Caper (AKA, Never Steal Anything Wet) tells the rather disjointed story of a group of thieves; a married couple and their dim-witted, bright-hatted sidekick, Lawrence, who steal a valuable scroll (with embarrassing ease) from an art museum, intending on copying it, selling it to an evil art-dealer/millionaire named Lakopolous (I had to look it up; the name sounds different every time someone says it), then returning the scroll to the museum while all concerned are on vacation in Catalina. This is hardly a fool-proof plan, and it goes south when they lose the genuine scroll. They then stage a dive party for some local teens, hoping they’ll find the scroll. Well, they do, but the bad guys show up and take it. There’s some very confusing switching and trickery (I couldn’t keep track of which scroll was fake and which was real) and in the end the scroll gets put back, the friendly-thief family gets off the hook, and Lakopolous leaves his henchman to drown.

            That’s only about half the movie, though; the rest deals with the teenagers (lead by Tommy Kirk playing ‘Don Pringle’) as they swim, flirt and, most of all, ‘dance’ to some generally awful music. Little Richard has a cameo and Robert Donner is on hand playing a goofy investigator who contributes nothing but a bunch of generally unfunny pratfalls. So, a lot of very bad dancing and bad music, plus a lot of failed comedy makes this a pretty bad movie.

With that being said, however, I personally found it to be pretty inoffensive. To me it was like a joke told by a six-year-old; it’s not at all funny or clever, but it’s too harmless to really bother about. I found I actually kind of enjoyed the movie when it focused on the thief family and the dancing was far off screen. Again, it’s pretty harmless and even a little amusing at times.

Riff wise, this is a pretty good episode, especially given the limitations brought by the fact that the move itself is a comedy. Jokes about how confusing the movie is and the beach-antics are pretty good, as is Tom Servo’s love-at-first-sight with the ‘Creepy Girl;’ an accented beauty who captures Tommy Kirk’s heart. On the other hand, there is a very annoying series of ‘white-male-reality’ jokes which quite frankly don’t fit the movie at all (more on that below).

Host segments are generally pretty good; the best being Tom’s song about the Creepy Girl. So, all in all, a pretty fun little episode.

 

            Thoughts while watching:

 

            Opening: The Bots say their prayers. The mostly pray for other robots. And they look so cute in their little pajamas.

 

            Invention: Dr. F. “We don’t want you to pray for us, we want you to pray to us!” Mads invention: Tank Tops; the latest in fashion artillery. Joel: Tickle Bazooka. They’re both pretty good, but I prefer the Mads’ invention.

 

            Wow, it’s kind of weird to see a real logo with these movies (here it’s Warner Brothers)

 

            Like ‘Moon Zero Two’ this one opens with an animated credit sequence. This one has much more to do with the movie, though.

 

            (as the movie cuts from animated to live action)

            Joel: “Wow, that is really good animation.”

 

            Crow: “Meanwhile in a dark, impenetrable void, Jean-Paul Sartre was a-moving and a-groving.”

            Servo: “No exit, baby!”

 

            Come on! That statue was right in front of him and he ran into it?

 

            Don (introducing himself): “Don Pringle”

            Crow: “Heir to the potato chip fortune.”

 

            Man, Don’s friend only needs an armband to look exactly like a stereotypical Nazi.

 

              Don meets the Creepy Girl, who is really pretty. Tom Servo falls for her too. He’s kissing her a lot!

 

            I’m almost afraid to ask why the girls find Nazi-guy so attractive.

 

            Little Richard shows up! I assume he’s a real celebrity, but I’m not familiar with him at all, not being a fan of that type of music (and don’t ask me what type it is; party music, I guess).

 

            And the kids all ‘dance.’ It’s gotten even worse from the dancing in ‘Untamed Youth;’ here they just kind of stand in one place and jerk around in a completely unrhythmical fashion.

 

            Crow: “Little Richard; the only genuine talent in this film.”

            Yeah, he’s pretty clearly a professional entertainer, and as such is not bad to watch.

 

            And three girls immediately latch onto Nazi-guy.

 

            Now we get the plot, such as it is.

 

            Wife (to Lawrence): “You’re a credit to your profession.”

            Crow: “Village idiot.”

 

            Okay, there’s a goofy guy here watching the thieves who does a lot of lame pratfalls.

 

            Lawrence: “How come a millionaire like Dino Lakopolous wants to be a crook?”

            Joel: “’Cause he’s un-scropulous!”

 

            So, here’s the plan; they steal a valuable Scroll, copy it, sell the copy to Lakopolous and return the real one. This doesn’t really sound like a sound plan to me (what happens when Lakopolous hears that the scroll’s been returned?)

 

            First Host Segment: Joel on the sixties. This is a pretty popular one, but it doesn’t do too much for me. It’s amusing, but not great; it gets better as it goes on, especially Joel going off the rails towards the end. Maybe you had to live in the sixties or at least not utterly loathe them.

           

            And Nazi-guy’s sister shows up as a beta romantic interest.

 

            Servo (on goofy-guy): “Thank goodness his briefcase is a personal flotation device.”

 

            Really, the thief family is pretty pleasant; I like them. Except for the fact that the father has some really weird speech patterns.

 

            Joel (as thief kid): “You know Dad, Mom is really hot."

 

            Tad (thief-guy’s son): “When you talk like that, I know you’re up to no good.”

            Crow: “And when you smell like that, somebody must die!”

 

            Joel buffs Lakopolous’ head! (he’s bald, of course)

 

            Servo (as girl snuggles up to Lakopolous): “Hi, Kaiser Wilhelm, you kooky monarch!”

 

            (as Don bursts back up after a scuba-diving attempt)

            Joel: “Ah, it’s all blue and wet and stuff!”

 

            (after weird sound-effect)

            Joel: “Oh, that’s my watch, it does that every half-hour.”

 

            Crow (bubbly-voice as a diver surfaces): “Hey, there’s a world out there!”

 

            Okay, bad guy scubas out to the thief boat, tries to get the scroll, there’s a struggle, and the tube with the scroll goes into the ocean.

           

            And Don goes after the fleeing bad guy…and Nazi guy goes after him.

 

            Now there’s an under-water fight…bad guy wins by taking off Don’s respirator.

 

            Joel: “Oh, look they’re standing four a-breast.”

            (I think you can guess the context here)

 

            Joel: “Gee, what a wimp; can’t even take a seasoned diver with a knife.”

           

            (as they climb onto the boat)

            Crow: “I’m afraid you boys will find only evil here.”

 

            Theif: “Larry will you please settle down!”

            Crow: “Get married, have some kids, and take that ridiculous hat off!”

 

            Second Host Segment: Tom Servo sings the fifties-style Creepy Girl Song. This is a great song and a really good demonstration of just how good Kevin Murphy’s voice is; he can really hit those high notes. Joel and Crow dance in the background. 

 

            And another dance scene. Man this dancing sucks.

 

            Oh, and Nazi guy picks up two more chicks! Come on, he’s not even attractive! He’s just creepy (and not like the Creepy Girl)!

 

            Yeah, the band isn’t very good here (the one guy kind of looks like an adult Eddie Haskell…)

           

            (on the band)

            Crow: “I think they sent the wrong people to ‘Nam.”

 

            Joel: “Could someone do us a favor and push that guy’s amp into the water?”

 

            And they split to the beach for volleyball.

 

            Servo (as Don sits oddly on the beach): “Darn and I forgot my shins.”

 

            Yeah, I know Creepy Girl is attractive (and Servo immediately claims her), but they’re not exactly starved of attractive female company here, so the scenes where she comes in and everyone stops to gape at her are pretty stupid even for this film.

 

            Servo threatens to take all the kids on over the Creepy Girl.

 

            Crow (as Nazi-guy’s sister grabs Tad): “Remember that ‘last man on Earth’ thing I told you? Well it’s time.”

 

            Servo tries to get into the movie to help Creepy Girl (she lost her bikini top).

 

            Crow: “Join the party and we will rule the world!”

 

            (during a low-angle shot of bad-guy)

            Crow: “And I’m a thousand feet tall!”

 

            Ah, the standard jerk fiancée; you always have to wonder with guys like this why the girl ever got engaged in the first place.

 

            (as the Creepy Girl sits down with the group)

            Crow: “Hello lower-life forms.”

 

            And sister pretends to drown to redirect attention onto herself; goofy-guy gets there first. Hilarity ensues.

 

            Crow (as sister): “Oh, saved…by the stinky guy!”

 

            Somehow this makes all the girls turn on their guys.

 

            Crow: “This is like a strange version of ‘Lysistrata’”

 

            And goofy-guy snags a bikini. Ha ha.

 

            Sigh. The girls and guys stand on opposite sides of the boat, the music starts up and they make up while dancing.

 

            God, this dancing makes me want to shoot someone! It’s just wrong! And the worst part is I know that dancing will get even worse over the next few decades! Arrggh!

 

            Servo (as the music staggers): “Oh, sounds like the tape’s being eaten.”

 

            Now a random girl we’ve never seen before sings a particularly bad song.

 

            Okay, I’ve got to say this: they’re making WAY too big an issue of the ‘whiteness’ of the cast. Guys, it doesn’t make the movie racist just because it has an all-white cast (with the exception of Little Richard’s cameo) and was made before 1970; it’s just a stupid beach movie, alright? I don’t see a single thing in the film to legitimately label it as racist. The last movie was racist, this one isn’t. Just stick with jabbing at stuff that is actually there, alright? Quite frankly, I found their repeated ‘white-male-reality’ jokes to be much more offensive than anything in the film itself.

 

            Crow: “Why did the ‘Titanic’ have to sink and this didn’t”

 

            (over a shot of a bunch of kids lying on the beach)

            Crow: “The youth of today spent like so many shell-cases on the battlefield of love!”

 

            Thief guy comes up with a plan to stage a scuba-party to find the lost scroll. It’s actually not a bad idea.

 

            Servo (as a girl-scuba-diver surfaces): “Hey everybody, I found a new script! And this one’s funny!”

 

            (as the bad-guy-scuba-divers surface)

            Crow: “We’re here to spoil everything.”

 

            Man, really weird bit where the goofy-guy gets sick and hallucinates a band at the bottom of the ocean.

 

            Third Host Segment: Joel has to field-strip Crow to fix his sarcasm sequencer (he rips his arms off!) Cut to Deep 13 for Frank’s Tupperware party with the Mole People. Dr. F. get’s Frank’s name wrong! Frank keeps spilling stuff on Dr. F. It’s kind of amusing, but not great, and goes on a little long. Is this the first time Dr. F. maims Frank?

 

            Is it wrong that I like the bad guy’s beating up Nazi-guy?

 

            And the thieves are loudly talking about their plan in front of the kids.

           

            The kids come up with a plan; Nazi-guy is reluctant because he’s worried about loosing his ‘good-looks.’

 

            Crow: “For those of your following along with the ‘Seigfield Screenplay Workbook,’ that last scene was the plot-point setting up the third act. Now this.”

 

            Uh, sister? I don’t think the middle of a dangerous mission is the right place to have a heart-to-heart apology.

 

            Creepy Girl: “Angelo, what are you doing here?”

            Servo: “Working, being evil.”

           

            They get Angelo (Creepy Girl’s evil ex-fiancée), other bad guy runs off with the scroll. Don runs off in pursuit.

           

            So, why does the bad guy run to the end of the pier? And since he has about two minutes to get out of the way, why does he let Goofy-guy run into him?

 

            Goofy-Guy is an investigator after thief-guy. But they took the scroll out of the tube-thing, so he doesn’t get to arrest thief guy.

 

            Tad puts the scroll back in a very obvious way. He just walks in and puts it back. He even talks to the security guard when he’s done!

 

            And one more dance scene for the road; the kids are all paired off nicely: Don get’s Creepy Girl (sorry, Servo), Tad gets sister, Nazi-guy gets his three fan-girls, even Lawrence and Goofy-guy get chicks!

 

            The ending, with Tad helping his parents out of trouble, is actually kind of sweet.

 

            More dancing! Gah! Everyone dances!

 

            Final Host Segment: figuring out the film.

            Crow: “I had only one question really.”        

            Joel: “What?”

            Crow: “What the Sam hill was going on?!”

            Joel produces a chart of the film. I didn’t really find the film that confusing; it was just stupid and padded. Joel eventually gets frustrated and smashes the chart on the bots. He really was kind of mean sometimes. Now letters, of course. It’s actually a kind of nice letter; a couple who say they met and fell in love while watching Mst3k.

 

I just noticed Dr. F is eating Frank’s eye!

 

By the way, the sort of ‘Gyuhk-ewww!’ sound effect became a Frank trademark.

 

Movie Quality Rating:

           

1.       The Crawling Eye

2.       The Black Scorpion

3.        Mad Monster

4.       Rocketship XM

5.       Moon Zero Two

6.       The Crawling Hand

7.       Catalina Caper

8.       Jungle Goddess

9.       The Corpse Vanishes

10.   Untamed Youth

11.   The Slime People

12.   Project Moonbase

13.   The Sidehackers

14.   Women of the Prehistoric Planet

15.   Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy

16.   Robot Holocaust

17.   Robot Monster

 

            Conclusion: A difficult-to-riff movie, nevertheless riffed rather strongly (despite some jokes that don’t fit the film), with some decent host segments makes for a decent episode.

           

            Final Rating: 6/10.

MST3K – Episode 203: Jungle Goddess (with short: The Phantom Creeps; Episode 1))

            Jungle Goddess is, for me, a rather middle-of-the-road episode; it’s not brilliant, but it is very amusing and enjoyable; a nice ‘basic’ episode.

            The story revolves around Bob and Mike; American charter pilots in Africa. Bob gets the idea for a get-rich-quick scheme to find a millionaire’s long-lost daughter, who had disappeared over the jungle at the start of WWII. Mike is reluctant, but Bob convinces him and they start their search. They land and are found by natives, one of whom Bob shoots (as Mike later says, he’s ‘a little trigger happy’). They get captured and brought before the White Goddess, Greta (who, of course, is the millionaire’s daughter they’re looking for), who sentences Bob to death. Mike and Greta talk and she tells him her story, plans to escape with them, and falls in love with Mike.

            Meanwhile Bob, who is stupid and evil, wants to ditch the girl and shoot their way out with his revolver. They argue, fight, Bob ‘accidentally’ shoots another native and they have to flee. Bob beats up Mike and takes the gun, then when they’re back at the plane he attacks Mike again and gets a spear in his back from the evil Witch-Doctor (is there any other kind?). Mike and Greta escape and plan to return to strip mine the place and get rich.

            The movie is preceded by a short; the first episode of ‘the Phantom Creeps’ starring Bela Lugosi. The serial itself is nowhere near as fun as ‘Commando Cody’ was, despite the presence of Bela and a giant robot; mostly it’s hampered by a very bad script, even for a serial, which is clunky in the extreme. Still, it’s not a total waste of time; Bela is always fun to watch and the guys have some fun with their Lugosi impersonation. Still, you can see why they’ll soon abandon serials.

            The movie itself is kind of fun in an old-jungle-movie way (that is, your mileage will vary greatly depending on your tolerance for out-dated racial and cultural attitudes). Bob is so stupid and evil that you really have to wonder how he got any job or partner in the first place, and the movie has kind of a lazy, paint-by-numbers feel to it. The riffing is pretty good, particularly the many jokes at Bob’s expense and the occasional Superman joke (Mike is played by George Reeves). It gets a bit preachy at times, but considering the movie that’s not really to be wondered at. The host segments are generally pretty good, with the exception of the kind of lame ‘Bela’s OK discoveries’ one, which doesn’t really go anywhere. My favorite is the visit by the White Devils; Mike and Jim are hilarious.

 It is also nice to see Kevin Murphy and Frank Coniff settling into their roles; both of them have great chemistry with Trace Beaulieu (for Murphy, this is particularly noticeable in the ‘scope’ sketch).

 

 

Thoughts While Watching:

 

Opening: Joel and the bots play hide-and-seek with the ‘elusive and inexplicable powers which govern the universe.’ Amusing, and we get to see Tom’s extend-o-neck again.

 

Invention exchange: Joel: The radio arm-saw; a circular saw attached to a remote control car. The Mads: Dr. F is attached to a baritone sax. This is a great exchange on both sides; Joel gets to do a ‘Loony Toons’ style gag, and Dr F’s is just weird as all get-out.

 

Another Serial! This one is the Phantom Creeps staring Bela Lugosi.

 

They do the cast list in their Lugosi voice.

 

Crow (as Lugosi looks at a skull): “Maybe I shaved him too close…”

 

Lugosi gives some particularly naked exposition here.

           

Thug (on the robot): “I don’t see what good it’ll do, the cops’ll never let anything like that walk down the street.”

Crow (as Lugosi): “Shut up, it just plays tapes!”

 

Hey, is this the first mention of Richard Kiel? Kiel will show up with some regularity later on.

 

Rather ridiculous bit where Lugosi is so busy doing a villain speech he doesn’t notice the robot is trashing the room.

 

Lugosi’s ‘wife’ shows up (this is a rather interesting and humanizing element in a serial; they generally didn’t grant their villains much of a life outside of conquering the world).

 

They do the Lugosi voice ever for characters besides Lugosi!

 

Lugosi’s invention really isn’t that great…

 

Lugosi is kind of inconsistent here…this really isn’t a very good script even for a serial.

 

 Rather ridiculous bit where Lugosi tests his invisibility belt and it doesn’t work.

 

Crow: “Turn the dial on the electric dance-belt and pick up my manhood, it’s under the chair.”

 

Now it works! Well, you can still see an animated blur where he is, so it’s not that great.

 

Crow (As the robot): “If you guys don’t mind, I’ve got a Michilin Man reading in an hour.”

 

Good, Lugosi got rid of his goofy beard; it really didn’t suit him.

 

Servo: “I just love informing on people.”

 

Lugosi: Pick up that man!”

Henchman: “What, do you mean give him a ride?”

Servo: “No, ask him out, what do you think I mean?”

 

Okay, that was really confusingly edited sequence; basically Bela’s car and another, random car ran off the road and Bela’s car exploded (he’s fine, though).

 

The origin of the ‘How fortunate, that simplifies everything’ line.

 

Lugosi comes up with a rather ill-conceived plan to incapacitate his wife. It hits the pilot instead. 

 

Oh, for the days when the standard reaction to a crashing airplane was to grab a parachute and jump.

 

First Host Segment: Bela’s Okay Discoveries. Joel flubs his lines, there’s not much to this one, except for Tom and Crow’s accents. Also at the end for Dr. F taping his head back on.

 

Okay, now Jungle Goddess, staring George Reeves in his pre-Superman years.

 

Crow: “Enjoy the only exterior shot.”

 

Fintuzler again! What is that?

 

Look, I know you had to have a song in movies back then, but was it really a good idea to open with it? It doesn’t exactly grab the audience; maybe they were giving the audience time to come in.

 

Bob here flirts with the singer.

 

Servo: “Hey, did you take my red underwear with the big ‘S’ on it?”

 

Bob tries to convince Mike (George Reeves) to go after the lost girl for the reward (no, not that kind of reward).

 

Rather over-powered binoculars (they can see animals clearly form the air, and from a side perspective at that).

 

Servo: “Come clean with me Frank, tell me you haven’t had the urge to ram this baby into the ground.”

 

And they land in the jungle.

 

Joel (over a snake): “Hi, I’m Satan, enjoy the film.”

 

The natives close in…

 

And Bob immediately shoots one of them on sight; they get captured.

 

Cut to our heroine, the titular ‘goddess’ who is with her personal servant/friend, whom she’s teaching spelling.

 

She balls our heroes out and puts them on trial. Mike is pardoned, Bob is sentenced to death.

 

Bob: “I’ve been in better jails in my life.”

Joel: “That’s nothing to brag about, Bob.”

 

Mike is frankly being pretty insensitive here, reminding Bob about how this whole thing is his fault.

 

Second Host Segment: The different scopes; it’s very funny, especially Tom and Crow’s appropriate little sketches. It gets weirder and weirder as it goes on. My favorite is the ‘High-Powered-Scope-Scope, just for Servo’s dialogue.

 

Girl invites Mike into her tent to talk.

 

So, wait, the natives would treat them like gods if they just stood there and been nice, but when they demonstrate they have the power to instantly kill them they are shown to be mere mortals?

 

Back story. About what you would expect.

 

Servo (as old lady goes on and on): “My skull’s starting to hurt, could you clam up?”

 

Crow: “Uh, when you were in flight school, did they teach you how to scream?”

 

Servo (as the plane crashes): “So do you want to tell them or should I?”

 

Yeah, she was the only survivor…and completely unharmed, barely ruffled…right.

 

Crow does his ‘kitty’ bit over a lion.

 

Crow (as natives): “She thinks we speak English.”

 

Joel (ask Mike): “Does this story have a point?”

 

They plan their escape.

 

Mike (on his plane): “It’s about a mile from where your plane crashed.”

Crow: “Must be the accident zone.”

 

Greta: “Obey my every command, no matter how strange it may seem.”

Joel: “Oh wow!

 

Greta comments that she doesn’t like Bob, leading Mike to defend him. Uh, I really hope she doesn’t like Bob primarily because he shot a guy.

 

Fade away, open on the guys standing around…

Tom: “That was incredible.”

 

And Bob is still just thinking about money! Is anyone that stupid and paranoid.

 

Mike gets to eat with the girl, Bob with her servant/friend.

 

Wait, a tribe that lives in the jungle doesn’t like the jungle at night!?

 

The origin of the ‘hamburger and nice French-fried potatoes’ line!

 

Mike: “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse.”

Crow: “Hey! You’re in luck!”

(turns out he is! Well, Zebra anyhow)

 

And Bob takes advantage of servant/friend’s limited English to make fun of them. Why don’t we want him to die again?

 

Servant/friend: “Why everyone say you white devil?”

Tom: “Because I kill indiscriminately.”  

 

Joel (on the ore Mike’s found): “It saps all your power if you’re a visitor from another planet.”

 

And they make plans to strip mine the jungle…if they get out alive. Truly it was a different time.

 

Bob: “I’d stake my life on it.”

Crow: “That’s already in the kitty Bob.”

 

And Bob wants to dump the girl and make a break for it. Man, this guy is so cartoonishly evil it’s a surprise anyone ever took up with him.

 

Man, Bob is as stupid as he is evil.

 

Tom (as characters defend Bob): “Yeah, he’s not thinking as clearly as when he shot that guy.”

 

And Mike and Bob fight over the one gun left. Joel and the bots make with the Superman jokes. “Far beyond mortal man, eh?”

 

Crow (as native): “Guano hit fan!”

 

And Bob accidentally shoots another guy!

 

So, wait, they take Bob but not the native friend girl? Why do they have to leave her again?

 

Tearful departure scene…

 

Tom: “Hey, Bob, there’s a living thing, why don’t you swing into high and kill it?”

 

Crow: “Hey, Bob, when you were a kid and you had pets did you kill them? And what did happen to your sister?”

 

The natives are clearly just standing still for about a half-second before someone yells action and they start running!

 

Third Host Segment: The White Devils visit. Mike Nelson and Jim Mallon are the devils (Mallon is also Gypsy). They’re hilarious! The sketch is a bit preachy, but still funny. The running gag with Jim’s gun is particularly good. The view screen now slides back up afterwards.

 

Tom says it perfectly: “Let me get this straight; you survived in the jungle for six years and now you’re telling me you just sprained your ankle on a piece of moss? Get real!”

 

Bob’s actually kind of reasonable here; frighteningly enough.

 

Bob: “White Goddess having trouble?”

Crow: “White Fascist getting smart?”

 

Crow (on a bunch of natives around a fire): “And there on handle was spear!”

 

Greta is primarily concerned with women’s hats?

 

Rather over extended scene of Mike being the only one awake…

 

Cut to them fighting; the must have cut a rather lengthy scene here. Anyway, Bob wins and takes the gun and compass.

 

Joel: “I have a confession to make; we lost the trail about four miles back.”

 

Guys, this is not the time to have a moment!

 

Bob panics and shoots at a coconut…

 

He panics some more…

 

And he attacks the good guys…

 

And the witch-doctor throws a spear into Bob, Mike shoots him.

 

“Poor devil?” Well, Mike’s half right…

 

Mike tells her about Colorado, all Greta can think about is hats!

 

Final Host Segment: My White Goddess; the sitcom sequel to Jungle Goddess. “Bill? Did he go on another wild killing spree?” It’s pretty funny, especially Tom Servo as Bill, the trigger happy friend. And this is the origin of Crow’s odd nickname, Art (Joel refers to him as ‘Art Crow,’ like in “The Honeymooners”).

 

And letters; again, it kind of interrupts the pace of the final host segment.

 

Movie Quality Rating:

           

1.       The Crawling Eye

2.       The Black Scorpion

3.        Mad Monster

4.       Rocketship XM

5.       Moon Zero Two

6.       The Crawling Hand

7.       Jungle Goddess

8.       The Corpse Vanishes

9.       Untamed Youth

10.   The Slime People

11.   Project Moonbase

12.   The Sidehackers

13.   Women of the Prehistoric Planet

14.   Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy

15.   Robot Holocaust

16.   Robot Monster

 

            Conclusion: A rather lame short, a kind-of-fun, but lazy and way outdated movie, and decent but not spectacular riffing and host segments make for a solid, but middling episode.

           

            Final Rating: 6/10.

MST3K – Episode 202: The Sidehackers

            This is one of those movies which I really think they shouldn’t have done. The episode isn’t bad, and the riffing is about as good as could be expected, but the movie itself is so unpleasant and dreary that it really brings the whole episode down, at least for me.

            The story revolves around Rommel (no, not that one); a motorcycle mechanic and part-time Sidehacker. Sidehacking involves attaching a side car to a motorcycle and having a passenger lean out to balance the bike on the turns. This also has the odd effect of somehow removing all the excitement from motorcycle racing; I think it’s because the addition is so completely pointless, indeed, counter-productive that it jams the brain and prevents any enjoyment from seeping through.

            Anyway, Rommel has a girlfriend, and a married best friend, and pretty much everything is going swimmingly until JC, a crazy exhibition rider, and his crew shows up. JC and his girlfriend both fall in love with Rommel, which, since JC is nuts, eventually leads him to beat up Rommel and kill his girlfriend. Rommel is bent on revenge and throws his life away gathering some help and proceeds to execute perhaps the worst thought-out revenge plot in history, which of course goes wrong, leading to many deaths, including his own, while JC waits to be picked up by the police.

            In the episode guide, they explain that they decided to do this film without watching it all, and so were horrified at the dark turn it takes about half-way through. While JC’s histrionics are funny in themselves, scenes like him punching his girlfriend and being a general jerk (and the cut scene of him raping and killing Rommel’s girlfriend) really bring the episode down.

            The host segments are generally pretty amusing, my favorites being the sidehacker song and the sidehacking terminology sketches. This seems to be a fan favorite, but it certainly isn’t one of mine. 

            Thoughts while Watching:

           Opening: Joel just gave the robots a bath and is about to put them down. They utter another peep after he specifically tells them not to.

 

            Invention Exchange: The bots want to stay up to watch the movie (why?). More Jerry and Sylvia. Joel; Gretchen the Slinky. This is one of my personal favorites, since the slinky is so cute! Mads; Dr. F.’s slinky bio-tube so he can be in two places at once. Mostly it’s good for the line “In space, no one can hear you sue.”

 

            Joel: “Postage-stamp theater presents!”

            (The film is shown through extremely tiny screens during the opening).

 

            I love their fake, dramatic titles; “Baby, can you drive my *murder*!” This might be the first example of it, but it’ll be a hilarious recurring joke for the rest of the series.

 

            Crow: “Hey, the whole Tessier clan got in on this!”

 

            Joel: “You know, now that Sidehacking is so big, it’s interesting to see its humble origins.”

 

            Wait, there really was a ‘Southern California Side-Hack Association?’ I never noticed that credit before, and I would never have believed this was ever a real sport if I hadn’t seen it (I’m still not sure I do).

 

            Sickening romantic montage of the sort you might see in a very special episode of ‘Knight Rider’ (except no talking car, mores the pity).

 

            Crow: “Hey, Joel, where do you suppose these people are working now that cigarette ads are illegal?”

             It does look like a cigarette ad!

 

            Joel: “You taste good too, but your…lips…are…drugged!”

            As the screen goes blurry.

 

            Joel: “Even this grass is…it’s…drugged!”

 

            One thing I do like about this movie is Ross Hagen’s gruffness as Rommel (no, not THE Rommel). He’s the romantic hero, but he’s still a tough, gruff guy. It’s a terrible script, but I like how he plays the character, at least in the beginning.

 

            JC, the bad-guy, shows up.

 

            Girl: “Exhibition riding; fairs, rodeos…”

            Servo: “Weddings, Bar-Mitzvahs.”

             

            Rommel: “I’m Rommel.”

            Crow: “Oh, you magnificent son-of-a-bitch, I read your book!”

 

            Rommel: “It’s called a side-hack.”

            Crow: “We built a whole movie out of it. We had to pad out the first scene with the meadow…”

 

            Friend tries to warn Rommel, Rommel shrugs, thinking it’s no big deal.

 

            More Side-Hacking. Say, where does the ‘Interesting, but stupid,’ line come from?

 

            Joel: “’No newcomer to this new sport’?”

            Good point, Joel.

 

            Man, this is a really stupid sport. I mean, I can more or less get Motorcycle racing, but this side-hacking thing is just a pointless.

 

            Cambot’s rare (possibly only) quip; he puts up an ESPN-style scoreboard around the film.

 

            First Host Segment: The Sidehacking Song. It’s really good; one of the first great songs. “Better get with the sport, because it won’t last long.” I must say, Joel isn’t much of a singer (especially compared with Kevin or Mike), but the song is so fun and his performance is so good that it doesn’t matter the slightest.

 

            JC tries Side-Hacking. Not only does this emphasize the stupidity and pointlessness of the whole thing, but also makes JC even more annoyingly incompetent.

 

            I know there probably are really people like JC whom people seem to gravitate towards for no reason whatsoever, but again, why does anyone hang out with people like this?

 

            And the movie starts veering sharply into unpleasantness, a territory it’s gonna stay in for a while (this makes it pretty hard to laugh at).

 

            Joel and the bots are angry at the film, as they should be (JC just punched his girlfriend in the stomach).

 

            Joel: “Try some of my forbidden fruit.”

 

            The source of the ‘chili peppers burn my gut’ line.

           

            Joel: “Hey, what’s the director doing in here?”

            The guy really does look like a director!

           

            I like Crow’s ‘There’s a Ladder in the way’ lines.

 

            Man, Rommel has to be the thickest guy on Earth; he needs JC’s girl to spell it out that she’s hitting on him.

 

            So, she just tears her clothes and instant-rape? She’s smiling and her hair isn’t even mussed! I know JC is crazy, but come on, girl, put some effort into it!

 

            By the way, should a married man really have that many girly pictures in his office? I mean, the Marines in ‘Aliens’ didn’t have that many!

 

            Cut to post-sex romp, with some particularly bad dialogue.

 

            I like their snoring ‘Rommel dialogue.’

 

            Servo: “Wake up, you desert fox, you!”

 

            Second Host Segment: They discuss new terminology for Side-Hacking. I remember when I first saw it I loved this sketch. It’s still pretty amusing. “It’s an exciting day indeed here at Japanese-War-Atrocity Park…” A good example of their weird, disjointed writing. (interestingly enough, they mention ‘fintuzler’ at least twice; I have no idea what that is, but they’ll bring it up again at least once in the first episode of the next season; more later).

 

            So, during the Host Segment, JC and his guys beat up Rommel and raped and killed his girlfriend (for obvious reasons, the scene was cut).

 

            What the…Rommel staggers into the house then IMMEDIATELY races back out.

 

            Sappy, sad song and montage.

 

            Crow: “We used to come here to club seals together…”

 

            Joel: “Funny, even these oil fields seem to remind me of her; I can’t put my finger on it…”

 

            Joel and the bots seem pretty sad about the events of the film (as well they should).

 

            Servo (on Rommel’s musings on the Bible): “Yeah, if you read it from the back it’s even more confusing.”

 

            Joel: “Okay, I go to the bank, go to dry-cleaners, get some lunch, kill JC’s gang…”

 

            Big-Jake! He’s…really not that big; just a little muscular (he was probably the biggest guy they could find). This also is the origin of the occasional call-back “he hit Big Jake!”

 

            JC is such a ham! He’s actually pretty hilarious most of the time, when he’s not being completely loathsome.

 

            Robot Holocaust call back!

 

            The day-for-night looks like a slightly over-cast noon.

 

            Man, Rommel’s friend’s wife is a really bad actress.

 

            Annoying hick guy tells a long, bad joke.

 

            Servo: “Hey, let’s just kill this guy for practice.”

 

            Annoying hick guy is REALLY annoying!

 

            By the way, there hasn’t been any side-hacking since about the fifteen-minute mark.

 

            Third Host Segment: The bots and Joel dress like Rommel when JC comes (played by Mike Nelson). What’s that whip-noise whenever they mention Rita? Mike is great as JC, Frank not so much as Cooch.

 

            I think you can see Servo’s control-stick when Joel hands him off.

 

            Crow: “Coochy, Coochy, Cooch!”

            (I’ve been waiting for someone to use that line since they first said Couch’s name).

 

Rather appalling scene where JC kills his girlfriend.

             

            Man, Joel said it: “I’m really glad it’s just a movie.”

 

            Hey, Crow called back to the previous episode!

 

            Man, Cooch really is one incompetent spy.

 

            Rommel lies and sends his friend away then attacks JC’s camp.

 

            Joel: “You think you’ve got problems, I’m not even supposed to be in this film!”

 

            And, Big-Jake gets shot (man, that whole ‘no guns, let’s attack without the police’ thing is looking pretty smart right now).

           

            Why did JC shoot Cooch? Oh, who cares, let’s just get this thing over with.

 

            Annoying hick-guy is a dead-eye with a pistol ridding a side-hack. Right. 

 

            Servo: “Okay, I’ve got to remember that I’m crazy; note to myself, load guns before killing spree.”

 

            And it’s just Rommel and JC. Again, if his plan was this stupid, why didn’t Rommel just wait for the police?

 

            It must be said that their fight is believably dirty.

 

            And Rommel just walks off after punching JC in the crotch. JC then shoots him, since he had landed right next to a gun. This is perhaps the single most incompetent vendetta in film history!

 

            Final Host segment: they talk about how depressing the film was and Joel sings ‘Love Pads the Film,’ again, the song and his performance carries over Joel’s singing defects. Gypsy provides back up. And we get to hear Kevin Murphy’s great singing voice for perhaps the first time. By the way, this song is basically the exact one from the film, with a couple lyrics added in.

 

            Now letters; You know, I never liked the letters much; they’re never very funny, and they kind of break up the pace of the final segment. Here’s a textbook example; they could have and should have ended right after the song, but they come back and add another couple of not-very-funny minutes on.

 

            Movie Quality Rating:

           

1.       The Crawling Eye

2.       The Black Scorpion

3.        Mad Monster

4.       Rocketship XM

5.       Moon Zero Two

6.       The Crawling Hand

7.       The Corpse Vanishes

8.       Untamed Youth

9.       The Slime People

10.   Project Moonbase

11.   The Sidehackers

12.   Women of the Prehistoric Planet

13.   Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy

14.   Robot Holocaust

15.   Robot Monster

 

            Conclusion: A very bad and unpleasant movie brings down an episode with decent riffing and host segments.

           

            Final Rating: 6/10.

 

            

MST3K – Episode 201: Rocketship XM

MST3K – Episode 201: Rocketship XM

 (Disclaimer: First, a word of apology to all three of our readers for the delay; my brother's computer got completely destroyed by a virus a few days ago, so I've been staying off Internet Explorer. Now, however, I've managed to get Safari, so we're back in business (such as it is).)

            I think this is the first time they had the opening disclaimer; “Turn down your lights…where applicable.” It serves as an instant reminder that now the show really begins. Like how the Pink Panther movies really begin with ‘A Shot in the Dark,’ ‘Rocketship XM is the beginning of the MST3K we know and love. Let the epic begin!

            This is one of the most appropriate movies for MST3K, in terms of the episode’s significance. Rocketship XM was not the first sci-fi film of the 50’s, nor was it a particularly good one, but it showcased many, many ‘firsts;’ a rocketship, aliens, the subject of nuclear power, a female scientist who falls for a military hero, a hopeful, but cautionary view of science, and an awareness of something greater than science; themes and aspects that would define sci-fi for the next decade are here presented in their earliest incarnation.

            Much the same way, many aspects that we’ll generally associate with MST3K are here for the first time; the opening, TV’s Frank and his relationship with Dr. F, Kevin Murphy’s distinctive voice as Tom Servo, the put-together look of the ship’s bridge, the hexfield view-screen, the visits from odd characters, and, most of all, the brilliant writing are all on display here. Previous episodes may have been clever and funny, but here the writing really takes off, possibly thanks to their new ‘head writer,’ Mike Nelson (who also makes his first appearance as Valeria, more on that later).

            So, a historic episode with a very appropriate movie. Rocketship XM tells the story of the first trip to the moon (also, apparently, the first manned space flight; they don’t waste any time in this universe). Unfortunately, there’s a problem half-way there, so the ship stops (in space) and the two scientists have to recalculate their fuel. Due to the male scientist’s pig-headedness, they get it wrong and shoot off for Mars. There they find the remnants of an ancient civilization which had been wiped out by nuclear war. They also find martians, who attack the party, killing two and injuring one. They then find they don’t have enough fuel to make it back, so they crash and all die (really).

            Sorry, not too much to say about this one. For a very good (if, I’d say, a little too sensitive) review of the movie, check out ‘And You Call Yourself a Scientist’ (seriously, it’s a great site: http://www.aycyas.com/rocketshipxm.htm).

            Personally, I found it alright; a quite stupid, sometimes annoying movie with a few genuinely good moments. Plus it featured the first sci-fi appearance of Morris Ankrum, who would show up in movies like this a lot (not a lot of MST3K films though), usually playing a general. Here he plays a scientist, and is typically good. The riffing already shows a great improvement over the previous season, and it’s just gonna get better from here on out.

 

            Thoughts while watching:

           

            Ah the familiar opening song video; it was different in the first season, and this one is (slightly) more polished. It would remain the same (except for the brief film clip, which would change a few times, and an added scene or two at the end) until Mike took over in season 5.

 

            Opening: Servo’ new voice. Joel indicates that some ‘In show’ time has passed, and points out the changes in the satellite. Indeed, the set is much more decorated; more familiar, with the spray-painted gadgets all stuck on the wall. The only thing that really remains is the Hexfield, which is just a shade now. They’ll complete that in a few episodes. We also get to see the rarely-seen extend-o-neck on Servo.

 

            Servo’s first words in the voice we’ll grow to love. Kevin Murphy will define Servo, but for right now he tries to sound a little like Josh Weinstein. Oh, and our first meeting with TV’s Frank! They just say that Dr. Earhart is ‘missing’ (Joel will come up with an amusing alternate theory next season). Jerry and Sylvia, the Mole People who help out in Deep 13 for one season, also show up. Man, a lot going on here!

           

            Invention Exchange: Joel; the BGC19. It’s basically a powerlifter (think ‘Aliens’) with drums. Frank invents the exact same thing. (Frank tends to fail when he handles the invention exchange).

 

            The bots are already in the theater.

 

            Yeah! Morris Ankrum!

           

            Crow: “Stupid name by Ferde Groefe”

 

            Crow: “And now the cast of ‘I Married Four Astronauts’”

 

            ‘All newspapers’? The room is about the size of a classroom; I guess there really less news agencies back then. Oh, and call me cynical, but I don’t buy the idea that the press would sit on a story because the government said so.

 

            So, the first manned spaceship is a moon-shot? Man, they didn’t waste any time back then!

 

            Scientific mumbo-jumbo.

 

            It must be said, the Rocketship XM itself is kind of a nice design; the nose-fins are a nice touch.

 

            Crow: “Uh, could you repeat that part about the Moon?”

 

            Reporter: “Have you done any flying?”

            Joel (slyly): “Oh, yeah!”

 

            Comic-relief navigator. Of course, he’s Texan.

           

            Of course the guys openly leer at and joke about the girl. This is one of the really annoying thing about these movies.

 

            So, wait, there’s only eleven minutes until launch and the astronauts are holding a press conference!? They’re really flying this whole ‘moon’ thing by the seat of their pants, aren’t they?

 

            Ankrum: “Everybody return here after the takeoff.”

            Crow: “Uh, except the astronauts, we need them on the rocket.”

            Servo: “You’re an astronaut if you’re wearing dungarees and you’ve been training for two years.”

 

            And they stand there talking! Man, the rocket’s gonna launch without them!

 

            And I love the way the scientists simply say, “I can’t think of anything we’ve over looked.” Yeah, no need to check or anything. I mean, only five minutes to go!

 

            Joel starts climbing the ladder!

 

            I like the ‘good-night’ quips.

 

            Servo: “I hope this new chin holds out.”

 

            And they’re off!

 

            Standard ‘strained astronaut’ scene. Of course, this didn’t actually happen when people went into space.

 

            First host segment: The Reporters of Rocketship XM. Joel is really having trouble with his lines here. The sketch, though, is really funny; “Hugh Beaumont’s brother Spike.” Man their writing has really improved!

 

             So, she pulls the guy away from the controls of a rocketship to look out the window?

 

            Joel: “The press is a bunch of wussies! You alone in there?”

            (to a guy in a room full of reporters)

 

            Doesn’t anyone do any work on this rocketship?

 

            “We’re on our way!”

            Another frequent call back line.

 

            Man, Ankrum is young here!

 

            Pretentious speculation, bad comic relief.

 

            Really stupid ‘zero-gravity’ scene. Of course only a few things float around, since that takes time and money (fifty-cents a yard on the string).

 

            Standard ‘What’s a girl like you, blah, blah, blah.’ Again, that was a rather annoying aspect of some of these things, even for a social conservative like me. It’s not quite as bad as the stuff in ‘Project Moonbase,’ but it’s annoying nonetheless.

           

            By the way, the guys are making pig noises during the above.

 

            Crow: “Uh, Huston we have a problem, Lloyd’s making moves on the babe here.”

 

            Joel: “Well, we stared at it, that oughta fix it.”

 

            Crow: “Dear diary; well, we’re all going to die and it’s the men’s fault. Our fiery demise is imminent, but at least I still have my health. Knock on wood…”

 

            Crow: “Oh, great, a harmonica, as if this guy weren’t annoying enough!”

 

            Really annoying scene where the male scientist insists on using his own findings rather than the girl’s. She actually has a good point, but is ignored, since she’s a woman.

 

            How did the Rocketship stop/slow down dramatically in space?

 

            And the doctor fell asleep. So much for the ‘time is of the essence’ thing. Lloyd tells a completely pointless story.

 

            Servo: “uh, he’s waking up, start telling that story again.”

 

            Another one! I’m with the bots (they’re yelling ‘Shut up’)!

 

            Crow: “Have you ever tasted human flesh?”

           

            Second Host segment: Selective gravity demonstration. It’s pretty funny; Joel acts like a class-room demonstration. Crow isn’t paying attention. It gets weirder and weirder.

            Wait a second, there’s something written on the back of the flash-cards…are those Joel’s lines?!

 

            Joel (on the ‘romantic’ dialogue): “Oh, that’s romantic, I think I’ll go slit my wrists.” 

           

            Girl: “You are speaking of its (the moon’s) effect on men and women?”

            Servo: “No, tree-frogs.”

 

            Lloyd: “Did you ever park in an open convertible on a cliff overlooking the Pacific?”

            Joel: “and then drive off, laughing maniacally?”

 

            Crow (after the Swedish scientist-girl describes a romantic walk): Und zen I measured ze velocity of our walk.”

 

            Again, they’re wasting a lot of time when they’re supposed to be saving everyone’s lives.

 

            Joel, that’s like the fifth time you’ve used that ‘Where do you want to be in two years?’ quip; it’s not that funny, drop it, buddy!

 

            The very first meteorite shower of fifties sci-fi! (practically EVERY other movie that featured a rocketship had one of these).

           

            And they’re making a lot of noise despite the fact that a) there’s no sound in space and b) even if there was, there’s no air, so there’s nothing for them to be making sound with!

 

            More speculation that maybe ‘someone’ doesn’t want them to get to the moon. One thing I do like about these sci-fi movies is that they do tend to acknowledge God in a respectful way.

           

            The male scientist is really smug and annoying.

 

            And the new fuel proves disastrous. It knocks everyone out and sends them way off course. All because male scientist guy didn’t want to admit he might be wrong.

 

            Oh, so now they bring up the inertia thing? Sorry it’s too late now!

 

            And they end up at Mars (the big reveal of it through the window is pretty cool, actually).

 

            The male scientist immediately asserts that ‘something inifinetly greater’ has taken over. Actually, I think that’s your chauvinism, buddy; this IS all your fault, after all.

 

            By the way, I know they’re supposed to be scientists and all, but really, I don’t think anyone would be mad at them if they went back and tried again; they’re kind of out of their way and likely to die if they don’t.

 

            What the…they have a perfectly clear view of the earth and the moon from just outside MARS? Come on, you could’ve done better than that, guys; do you see Mars as a soft-ball sized object in the night sky? Good grief, this is ‘Loony Toons’ science!

 

            Wait, the clouds are sideways! Good grief, they just turned the cloud-screen on its side to indicate they’re going down!

 

                        They land right in the middle of a storm.

 

            Mars looks a lot like a desert. Rather like the south-western United States, in fact…

 

            ‘Planet of the Apes’ Reference.

             

            And they find ruins. They speculate that it was nuclear war.

 

            Geiger counter! One of the standard props in these things makes its appearance.

           

            Sigh, more speeches.

 

            Crow: “You can’t swing a dead cat without hitting one of his speeches.”

 

            Is this the first ‘and there on the handle was a hook!’ joke?

 

            By the way, how much oxygen are they carrying in their small tanks, one a person?

 

            Third host segment: Joel and the bots are trading pretentious phrases (and song lyrics) hey, Crow holds Joel’s hand! It starts getting dull when Servo brings up a line from ‘The Crawling Hand.’ Then Valeria visits (from ‘Robot Holocaust’?). First mention of Rocket Number 9. She’s played by Mike Nelson, in his first on screen appearance (and incidentally, sounds disturbingly like my senior year French teacher, Father Thompson). I love how Joel uses one of those ‘breath freshener’ things before he starts talking to her. And I love his bit with ‘Torque’ (who is just a skull here). It’s pretty funny, but goes on too long.

 

            Servo: “Meanwhile, here in the day-for-night scene…”

           

            Huh, that first indistinct shot of the Martians from a distance is actually pretty creepy. I like ‘indistinct’ scare shots like this.

 

            Crow: “Let’s all run like fools towards the danger!”

            Yeah, really!

 

            Frankly, if I were there I’d say ‘look, bud, it’s your fault we’re in this mess, don’t go telling me what risks I have to take; if you want to go chasing into a cave, a night, after evil Martians on their home planet, be my guest, but I’m going back to the ship!’

 

            Ah, so it’s just the male scientist and the comic relief guy. Good, people I hope will get killed!

 

            Joel: “Jeeze, it’s an entire race of mimes, we’ve got to get back and warn Earth!”

 

            Comic relief guy dies saving male scientist. Turns out the Martians are attacking by hurling rocks at them.

           

            By the way, does this scientist *try* to kill those around him, or is it just an innate talent.

 

            Well, he’s dead now; but the damage is done.

 

            Servo: “Great, he’s dying and he’s still giving speeches!”

           

            Up, another one bites the dust! This time it’s coward guy!

              

            Oh, Servo, not you too! How did they get onto that ‘two years’ thing?

 

            Lloyd declares love. Sort of.

 

            And, they’re out of fuel.

 

            Crow: “Well, this should really test Lloyd’s sunny disposition.”

 

            No, girl, it’s not your fault; it’s the fault of that chauvinist pig, your boss whom you left back on Mars.

 

            Crow: “Okay, story so far: we got lost, flew to Phoenix, got attacked, we’re gonna die.”

 

            Servo: “There’s a Mr. ‘Oh, My God, My Hair’s On Fire’ on line one, sir.”

 

            What the…Joel just pulled one of Ankrum’s nose-hairs out!

 

            Morrey is pretty good here as he hears the news.

 

            Joel: “I thought ‘worm-food’ was a bit strong, Lloyd.”

 

            And they clinch as they’re about to die. And Lloyd does some stupid speechifying.

 

            Girl: “Shouldn’t we wake him?”

            Crow: “Why? So he can experience his own fiery death?”

            Joel: “Get your shoes on honey, we’re about to die!”

           

            And they all die.

 

            Joel: “Uh, we scrapped off the runway, sir.”

 

            Ankrum: “We’ve proved that inter-planetary space travel is not only possible, but practical.”

            Crow: “And enjoyable, for all members of the family, though there’ll be carnage.”

 

            And Ankrum declares they’re going to start on RXM 2. Right.

 

            Closing: Joel and the Bots discuss how inappropriate it is to show them a movie about guys dying in a spaceship. Interestingly enough, Joel sarcastically suggests they send them ‘Marooned,’ which they will in a couple seasons. Letters. They try to trick Frank again. Frank messes up pushing the button.

 

             Movie Quality Rating:

           

1.       The Crawling Eye

2.       The Black Scorpion

3.        Mad Monster

4.       Rocketship XM

5.       Moon Zero Two

6.       The Crawling Hand

7.       The Corpse Vanishes

8.       Untamed Youth

9.       The Slime People

10.   Project Moonbase

11.   Women of the Prehistoric Planet

12.   Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy

13.   Robot Holocaust

14.   Robot Monster

 

Conclusion: Watchable, but annoying movie, but really good riffing and mostly fun host segments. Plus we’ve got Frank and Kevin Murphy as Servo!

 

Final Rating: 8/10